Keep the Secret Even in Death
by Kyarorain71
Summary: Kari and Kaname; friends before and after death…and now, shinigami. They have a dark, deep secret, held through death. Uncontrollable, though highly entertaining, this duo can't slow down…unless they hit a wall… Achi-chan  Just who will tame them?Find out
1. Nicknameschan

Hey guys...this is our (yes, our. This is a collab with Chikarita57!) first fanfic...:) It's very funny, very realistic in placing ourselves in the story (Kari=Chikarita57, Kaname= yours truly) and, well, we love writing it. Enjoy!

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This is the list of nicknames for ya (since we're so nice! :P ) cuz we don't want you confused about who's who...:) Study it well and beware: insanity follows after this page...no going back after that. XD

oh, and the nicknames will probably be explained as the story carries on...

Nicknames

Byakuya Kuchiki – Kuya-chan

Kenpachi Zaraki – Teddy-chan

Renji Abarai – Ren-chan

Rangiku Matsumoto – Ran-chan

Soifon – Soysauce-chan

Gin Ichimaru – Gi

Sōsuke Aizen – Ai

Kaname Tōsen – Tō

Tōshirō Hitsugaya – Hit-chan

Momo Hinamori – Nam-chan

Yachiru Kusajishi – Chiru-chan

Ikkaku Madarame – Ick-chan

Shūhei Hisagi – Puppy-chan

Izuru Kira – Izu-chan

Yumichika Ayasegawa – Aya-chan

Chōjirō Sasakibe – Sasa-chan

Marechiyo Ōmaeda – Waddle-chan

Retsu Unohana – Rits-chan

Hanatarō Yamada – Hana-chan

Shunsui Kyōraku – Kyo-chan

Nanao Ise – Nana-chan

Sajin Komamura – Koma-chan

Tetsuzeamon Iba – Ba-chan

Mayuri Kurotsuchi – Mayo

Nemu Kurotsuchi – Em

Jūshirō Ukitake – Jūshi-chan

Rukia Kuchiki – Kia-chan

Kaien Shiba – Kaien-chan

Isane Kotetsu – Isa-chan

Kiyone Kotetsu - Yone-chan

Sentarō Kotsubaki – Sen-chan

Shinji Hirako – Shishi-chan

Hiyori Sarugaki – Yori-chan

Kensei Muguruma – Ken-chan

Love Aikawa – Doki-chan

Rōjūrō Ōtoribashi – Bara-chan

Mashiro Kuna – Mashi-chan

Hachigen Ushōda – Eight-chan

Lisa Yadōmaru – Li-chan

Yoruichi Shihōin - Yoruichi

Kisuke Urahara – Ki-chan

Tessai Tsukabishi – Tes-chan

Orihime Inoue – Meh-chan

Uryū Ishida – Ida-chan

Sado Yasutora – Cha-chan

Kukaku Shiba - Kukaku

Tatsuki Arisawa - Tatsuki

Ururu Tsumugiya – U-chan

Jinta Hanakari – Jin-chan

Keigo Asano – Kei-chan

Mizuiro Kojima – Zu-chan

Yuzu Kurosaki – Yu-chan

Karin Kurosaki - Karin

Isshin Kurosaki – Issi-chan

Ichigo Kurosaki – Choco straw-chan

Don Kanonji – Kano-chan

Chizuru Honshō – Chi-chan

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez – Grimmy-kitty-chan

Ulquiorra Cifer – Emocar-chan

Starrk Coyote – Star-chan

Luppi Antenor – Paranoid-chan

Nnoitra Jiruga – ennoiying-chan

Tia Harribel – Bel-chan

Yammy Riyalgo – Fat-chan

Szayel Aporro Granz – Z-chan

Aaroniero Arruruerie – Ero-chan Baraggan Luisenbarn – Bear-chan

Wonderweiss Margera – Won-chan

Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck - Nel

3 brothers of Nel - 3 stooges-chan

Lilynette Gingerback – Leo-chan


	2. Chapter 1  The Diabolical Duo

Chapter 1- The Diabolical Duo

_A woman walked down the prison cell hallways, slowly turning in circles but moving forward, wondering why she was there. She stopped before a turn to go down another hallway. There, in the locked cell to her right, was a woman with red hair that sprayed around her, curled in the corner of the cell._

"_KANAME!" the woman yelled, reaching out to the redhead. Broken jade eyes met piercing yellow, and then the jade-eyed woman's head dug deeper into her arms._

"_NO, NO ,NO WHAT HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU HERE, WHO DID THIS?" The woman screamed as her yellow eyes saw the bloody cuts that would turn to scars. "It hurts Kari-chan…It hurts" Kaname whispered._

"KARI-CHAN!" a yell came from the right of a sleeping figure who was dressed in the female shinigami academy uniform. The once-sleeping woman opened her yellow eyes only to be glomped off the top branch of an apple tree.

"Owwww! That hurt, Kaname! I was sleeping, what would you have done if I broke my skull?" the woman 'Kari' whined. Red hair and lively jade green eyes stared at her with amusement.

"But, but, but your head is way too hard to break!" Kaname replied to her whiny best friend. She grinned widely but soon started to jokingly run away when Kari started to chase her, shaking her fists menacingly.

Kari soon caught up with Kaname, neither of them breathing hard at all. "Oh yeah? Let's see how hard your head is then!" Kari grinned, reaching towards her friend. Kaname didn't protest, only scrunched up her face, thinking hard.

"WAIT A MINUTE! I just remembered something." Kaname said, waving her hands around urgently.

"What?" Kari said, annoyed because she was in the middle of a head butt.

"He he he he," Kaname laughed nervously. "... The graduation ceremony starts in a minute." Kaname said in a cute voice, laughing at Kari's shocked face.

"WHAT?" Kari yelled as she took off towards the Graduation Hall, her waist length black hair spraying around her. Kaname sprinted after her and then hopped on Kari's back.

"Why didn't you wake me up before?" Kari grumbled, desperately trying to restrain herself from killing her best friend.

"Cause I wanted to flash-step there, Kari-chan!" Kaname giggled, hardly concerned.

"Or just because you wanted me to give you a piggyback ride there." Kari grumbled again as the Hall quickly came in sight.

-Inside the hall-

"And the last person to be placed into the company of the 6th squad would be: Kōri Kaname." Captain Commander Yamamoto said, waiting for the named girl to come receive her diploma. Suddenly, the doors opened to reveal a panting Kari and a happy Kaname.

"Coming Captain Commander-chan!" Kaname said, running down the stairs excitedly, only to trip and fall on the last step.

"Ha ha ha! Let me show you how to walk down those scary stairs, Kaname!" Kari laughed as she started down the stairs… only to trip on the last stair as well. All the graduates, including Kaname, started to laugh their heads off while all the captains and such shook their heads, some stifling their laughter as well.

Kari quickly sat in an empty spot while Kaname went to get her diploma of graduation of the Shinigami Academy. She shook the Head Captain's hand and glomped Byakuya, who stood next to him.

"Can you please let go, Kaname?" Byakuya sighed, used to this treatment but weary of it all the same.

"But that wouldn't be fun, Captain Kuya-chan!" Kaname laughed, walking off the stage.

"Now that was smooth Kari-chan; you tripped down the stairs after trying to look cool." Kaname said sitting next to Kari.

"Ah, shut up." Kari said, getting comfortable in her chair.

"Hey, wanna play rock paper scissors, to pass the time?" Kaname whispered, not paying attention to anything the Captain Commander said. Kari's eyes lit up.

"Oh yeah, let's do this!" Kari whispered back, as her right hand that was covered with a biker glove (with the fingers cut off) moved forward.

Half an hour later, Kari was starting to get nervous. "And now for the 11th division; the new members are…" Kari drowned out the Captain Commander and started to talk to Kaname.

"It's getting closer. No matter what they say, if they put me in the same division as that clown-faced captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi, I'm going to explode. That guy just rubs me the wrong way!"

"So he's bad at massages, and scary; so what? Is he that bad? You got to admit it's fun to prank him." Kaname giggled. Kari just shook her head.

"You know what I mean." she said, fidgeting as she tried to calm herself down.

"Think of it this way; it'll be so much easier to drive him insane when we have someone on the inside. Besides, he wouldn't dare try to test on you; he knows we'd both go absolutely berserk and whip his butt." Kaname said with a dangerous look in her eyes. Then she giggled. "Or we'd just get Kuya-chan to do it!"

"...the last member of the recruits for the 11th company is Kurotsuki Kari." the Captain Commander said.

"BOOYA! There we gooooo! Un-huh! I'm no test subject! Alright!" Kari yelled, running up on stage, shaking the Captain Commander hand excitedly while he sighed and reaching for her diploma.

"WAIT! A WOMAN ON MY SQUAD? MY SQUAD IS THE STRONGEST SQUAD! WE WILL NOT BE DRAGGED DOWN BECAUSE OF THIS WOMAN." Kenpachi Zaraki stated in a matter of fact voice.

"Fine then. We shall give her a probation period; if she is not to your taste in a four months period, she will be sent to another squad." the Captain Commander stated. Kari looked between the two older men.

"So that means I'm safe for at least four months?" She asked. Kenpachi grumbled something that sounded like a yes.

"BOOYA!" Kari yelled as she did a back flip off the stage and ran to her best friend.

"EPIC HIGH-FIVE" Kaname yelled she her hand shot out towards Kari's.

"NOOOO" Byakuya yelled as the girls hands collided. A strong blast of warm air blasted the spectators. Everyone was slightly pushed back, as well as Kari and Kaname. With the exception of a few.

Kenpachi moved back a centimetre. The captain commander put out his cane and parted the wave… and Hitsugaya Tōshirō when flying into a wall because of not being heavy enough.

"HEY WATCH IT YOU TWO" Hitsugaya yelled.

"CAN IT SHORTY/SHORTY-CHAN" was his reply.

"You're in for it, Kenpachi. She's one heck of a handful." Byakuya told Kenpachi once the ceremony was finished. Kenpachi looked at him confused.

Byakuya just walked off but got glomped by Kaname before he got the chance to flash step away.

"Will you please get off?" Byakuya asked nicely. To Byakuya's surprise, Kaname got off him.

"Hey Kari-chan, let's have a sleepover at my house!" Kaname said as she turned to the other woman.

"Sure, I don't see myself going to back to my district for a few hours sleep; that's just stupid." Kari said as she motioned Kaname to lead the way.

While Kaname was walking forward, Kari turned to Byakuya. The two of them had a staring contest with lightning and everything. Kaname started to yell for Kari to follow. "She's in your squad now. Protect her with your life, and, oh and get some sleep; you'll need it for tomorrow. After all, your squad is going to be much livelier now that she's there." Kari laughed and ran off to catch up with Kaname.

- 0:01am -

"Kuya." a whisper came from the right of a sleeping Byakuya inside his mansion. "Kuya!" came again from his right.

* Twitch *

"Kuya!"

* Twitch Twitch *

"Ku…"

"What do you want Kari, I'm trying to sleep!" Byakuya growled.

Kari laughed nervously. "Kaname is in jail again." Kari smiled as she put her hands on her ears.

"CAN'T YOU GUYS STAY OUT OF TROUBLE FOR JUST ONE DAY?" Byakuya yelled, getting up and putting his captain's robe over his sleeping yukata and walked through his mansion with Kari close behind him.

"Brother, are you okay?" Rukia asked as she poked her head out of her room. Byakuya just passed her and walked out the door, clearly steaming.

"Kaname is in jail again." Kari said, smiling. Rukia started to laugh.

"You two are going to be the death of him." She said, going back into her room while shaking her head, still laughing.

"You leave today, right? For the human world?" Kari asked. Rukia nodded.

"Then good luck and see you in a little while." Kari said, catching up to Byakuya.

When the pair got to the Jail area located in the squad 6 barracks, they could hear Kaname laughing.

"Captain, Kaname is here again." one of the squad 6 members said. Byakuya just ignored him and went straight to the cell that Kaname always used.

"Can you not bug me for at least a whole day?" Byakuya said, clearly annoyed.

"But I wove you Captain Kuya-chan" Kaname said, laying on her personal couch inside her cell.

"Don't you look comfy?" Kari giggled.

"How did you get a couch inside the jail cell? You know, never mind. I don't want to know. And as for why you were thrown in jail again, I'm not even going to ask." Byakuya said as he unlocked the door and rushed her out. Kaname glomped him again, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you, Kuya-chan. And no, I'm not drunk. Just realllllllllly hyper. Oh, and where's Renji?" Kaname said as Byakuya pushed her off, blushing a bit and muttering about "bad influence" and "out of control behaviour".

"I'm going home." he said as he flash-stepped to his mansion.

"Are you angry with me, Captain Kuya-chan?" Kaname called from the next door.

"Yes, now go home." he said, even more annoyed that she managed to flash-step as fast as him.

"But she is home, she's your neighbour!" Kari laughed as Byakuya rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay Mr. Grumpy-Pants-chan! Good night and sweet dreams, you silly old man!" Kaname said, rushing into her house with Kari close behind.

"I'm not an old man." Byakuya muttered to himself, a little hurt.

The girls giggled as they got ready for bed.

"So… what do you think Yoruichi would say if she saw us now, as full-fledged shinigami?" Kari asked Kaname as they got out the pyjamas that they made Byakuya get for them in the human world.

Kari had black silky tank top with 'EVIL' written on it in big, red, gothic letters. The pants had 'Muhahaha' scrawled all over it in red writing, and a black belt that weaved in the belt loops.

Kaname had a yellow tank top with baggy sweat pants. On the shirt, it had "I'm a trouble maker" in blue bold letters. A series of words in blue writing like 'pranks', 'fun', 'insanity', and various others plastered the yellow sweat pants.

Kaname grinned. "She'd say I told ya so, then go play some pranks on Kuya-chan with us."

Kari giggled but then looked at her. "No one's around. You don't have to say chan anymore."

Kaname grinned. "I know but I have a feeling that every time I say 'Kuya-chan', he subconsciously feels it. If I say it enough, he sneezes! Watch."

Kaname sat on the bed and repeated Byakuya's name over and over for about a minute, meditating on his name. Then both girls heard a loud sneeze from next door. Kaname rolled off the bed, giggling.

Kari laughed. Then she sobered. "I'm just so glad we made it...I mean, especially that I made it...after all, our decision about that…and you were definitely in, knowing Byakuya and all..." Kaname punched her arm when she said that, telling her with her eyes, _I worked just as hard as you did!_

"I'm just glad I made it too." Kari finished.

Kaname looked at Kari and smiled. "I told ya you would" she answered her best friend.

Slowly, they slipped into bed and fell asleep. The last thing said from Kari's mouth was "We did it Kaname". She received a bubbly 'yup' in return.

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Hey guys! It us!

*crickets*

You know...the writers? Kyaorain71 and Chikarita57? Kaname and Kari?

There. Now you remember.

So, how was the first chappie? Good, huh?

Well, the insanity is just beginning. We wrote it that way.

Did ya know that Chika here wrote the draft and I edited? And well, added some funny and random stuff to an already funny story...then I sent it back and she sent it back...and so on...and then we PUBLISHED IT! XD Once we almost finished the third chappie, of course...^^

So, yesh, this IS a collab. We do not own Bleach or anything but we do own the OCs and their crazy ideas and their *secret* and *life*...So yep.

So, please, do not let our random mutterings interrupt your reading...read on, my friend...read on. *evil music plays**AKA: Alice Human Sacrifice**no, we do not own that either*


	3. Chapter 2  Waffles, Tattoos and Missing

Chapter 2- Waffles, Tattoos and Missing Squad Members

"_This dream again?" Kari asked herself going down the prison cell hallways. She rounded a corner to see the cell that had held Kaname in the last dream, which was now empty._

"_What the heck?" Kari asked as she tried to open the door, but was unsuccessful in doing so. "Where am I?" She thought as once again she walked the hallways once more. "You know where..." a voice said._

"You getting up, you lazy-bum?" Kaname yelled from down stairs. Kari opened her eyes and stretched. Soon the smell of waffles filled her nostrils.

"WAFFLES!" She yelled as she ran down the stairs to the kitchen, tripping on the last stair. There, on the table, was one of her most favourite and prized foods… a stack of WAFFLES. Kaname started to laugh as drool started to run down Kari's chin. Kari pushed herself off the floor and dug into her food.

"So, when do we have to be at our squads?" Kari asked with her mouth full of yummy fluffy waffles that Kaname made.

"In about 4 hours." Kaname answered, also with her mouth full of waffles.

All of a sudden, a knock came from the front door.

"Come in!" Kaname yelled so high pitched that Kari fell off the chair in front of Kaname, clutching her ears.

"Oww!" Kari said and looked towards the door to see Rukia walk in.

"Kia-chan!" Kaname said, running up to the shorter woman and hugging her.

"I can never get over how tall you two are!" she said as Kari got up off the floor and stood next to Kaname.

"Well, this giant is 5'10, and I'm 5'7." Kari said, finishing the waffle that was on the plate she carried.

"Want a waffle?" Kaname asked as she grabbed another and placed it on Kari's plate. She watched Kari devour it. "Kia-chan?" Kaname asked as Rukia seemed to have stared off into space.

Rukia snapped out of it and immediately said, "YOU HAVE A TATTOO!" in surprise. Kaname looked over her right shoulder at the black rose that she had drawn onto her skin.

"You caught me... hehehe..." Kaname nervously laughed while scratching her head. Rukia attacked Kaname to get a better look at the tattoo.

"Why am I getting attacked?" Kaname whined as Rukia pined her to the ground. Kari started to laugh at Kaname as Rukia looked at said giant's shoulder. Kaname's eyes slowly narrowed as she motioned Rukia forward. Kari noticed to action and pointed at her best friend.

"DON'T YOU DARE KANAME!" Kari yelled as she saw the glimmer in Kaname's eyes.

"WHAT KARI YOU HAVE A TATTOO TOO?" Rukia yelled racing towards Kari at full speed.

"Damn it Kaname, when I get a hold of you, you'll be in a world of hurt!" Kari yelled as she ran from Rukia around the kitchen table.

"I can see it! I can't believe I never noticed it, it's so huge! It covers your whole back!" Rukia yelled. Kaname clutched her stomach as she laughed. Slowly, not able to stand, she collapsed onto the floor, tears streaming down her face.

"That's because you've never seen my back." Kari growled, jumping over the table to escape Rukia's grasp.

All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. Kaname got up from laughing rolling on the floor to answer… Only to glomp the person when the door opened.

"KUYA-CHAN!" Kaname yelled high pitched.

"Oww…" Byakuya muttered as raised his head a bit and uncovered his ears. He glanced at Kaname and looked away, flushed. She looked down and saw that her shirt had been all the way up after Rukia had attacked her…and her bra was showing. She shrugged.

"Oops. Sorry, Kuya-chan. Rukia did it."

"Achoo!" He sneezed, and Kaname giggled. She pulled down her shirt and laughed quietly at Byakuya's face. _I'll have to tell Kari about this later_, she thought with a diabolical grin.

"KUYA HELP ME! GET YOUR CRAZED SISTER OFF OF ME!" Kari yelled from the next room. Byakuya gave Kaname a look.

"Don't ask." Kaname answered cheerfully as she lead the way to the kitchen.

What Byakuya saw next made him blink twice before taking another bewildered look. There was his sister, trying to take a blushing Kari's shirt off. Rukia had just realized that Kari had no bra on and pulled her hands away.

"NII-SAMA, It's not what it looks like. I was just trying to see her tattoo." Rukia rushed to explain, blushing furiously as Kaname laughed her head off.

"You have a tattoo?" Byakuya asked Kari, to which Kari stuck her tongue out at him. He shook his head, hardly surpised and blushing a bit. _These girls are not one bit shy,_ he thought.

"Kaname has one too!" Kari whined.

Byakuya looked towards Kaname's right shoulder to see the black rose. It covered her whole right shoulder blade; it was outlined with purple and had what seemed to be silver glitter on it. There was a dark green stem with thorns covering it; the thorns had blood dripping off of them. All in all, a very dark tattoo for such a bright, happy person.

He looked back at Kari to see a full moon tattooed onto her left lower shoulder blade, with the nose of a howling wolf as the rest was hidden by her tank top. Part of the moon was hidden by the large glove that went from the tips of her fingers, to half of her shoulder blade. A belt-like half-an-inch piece of material went across her chest and back to hold the glove from slipping off her shoulder. It meet at her belt loop where it hooked on and kept it set to that position.

Byakuya couldn't help but notice the scars that were decorated her right arm. On her forearm, he counted 3 scars: one going from 3 inches away from her wrist to just before her elbow following the line of her muscle just above the bone; the other 2 made an X shape wider in the center then going thinner, each line being an inch and a half long. It was located on the underside of her arm near her elbow.

On her upper arm there were also 3 scars. The first scar was set on an angle lowest part next to her, in the middle of her tricep. The second scar went from the middle of the first scar up towards her shoulder. The last scar went right across her shoulder highest point at the start of her collarbone and ends right before the underside of her arm.

Byakuya couldn't help but look over at Kaname and look for scars. She had one above her right eyebrow which was two inches long, travelling from the end of her eyebrow to her forehead. She also had a long scar in the form of a lightning bolt on her left forearm...it travelled the whole length of her forearm.

"How the heck did they get those scars?" he thought, brushing the thought off as he heard an interesting question.

"Hey, can I take off the glove thingy, I wanna take a good look at the whole tattoo. Why do you even wear it?" Rukia asked Kari. Kari fell off the chair she was sitting backwards on and onto the floor. Byakuya heard Kaname's breath hitch after the question was said. He looked at their faces and saw them guarded and frightened; he had never seen those expressions on their faces before.

"Sorry Kia no can do, I hide a very hideous scar with this glove. That's why I never take it off... other than in the shower." Kari laughed nervously.

"Yeah, Kari-chan's scar is so ugly, it's unbearable. When I first saw it, it disturbed me so much I puked. It's so icky and DISGUSTING, I mean just thinking about it makes me grossed out. I mean, you could see the veins and arteries that carry the blood to her arm. You could see the bone and muscle and everything. It's also kind of sad when you think that she has that kind of scar. It makes me hate the person who made it happen." Kaname's eyes filled with hatred and her fists shook with anger. Then she shivered as she recalled the memories of seeing the scar.

"Thanks for making me feel better..." Kari said, cowering in a corner.

"If you put it like that then I'll be fine just as I am." Rukia said, putting her hands up in defeat.

"Just what happened to them? Who even gave them those scars?" Byakuya thought.

"Well, anyway why'd you stop by?" Kaname smiled as she sat on Kari's back, who was still crouching in the corner. She subconsciously patted her friend's head.

"Well, I wanted to say good bye and to see you before I head out for the human world." Rukia said before brushing herself off.

"I came to get her, because you guys would probably keep her from going." Byakuya said in his usual cold tone, eyeing them both with suspicion.

"Who, us?" Kari said pushing Kaname off her and acting innocent as Kaname smiled her disturbingly large grin.

"Let's go Rukia." he said as he and Rukia walked out the door.

"BYE BYE KIA/KIA-CHAN, CAPTAIN KUYA/KUYA-CHAN!" Kari and Kaname yelled out, waving like idiots before closing the door.

"That was a close call, Kari." Kaname said with dead seriousness leaking from her voice and her eyes filled with darkness.

"So true…" Kari answered, subconsciously stroking her glove as they headed upstairs to get ready; for their first day of being Shinigami.

After the women got out of Kaname's personal bath house that was located in her backyard, they got dressed in their Shinigami uniform, while listening to music from Kari's Ipod Touch that she had bugged Byakuya to get her. At the moment they were listening to 'Brothers' by Vic Mignogna.

Kari sat in front of Kaname's body length mirror thinking hard.

"SOMETHING'S MISSING!" She screamed out of frustration. She got up and looked hard. She had her sandals and tabi, she had her obi tied around her pants, holding them up and the top of her Shihakushō was wide open and loose, her bandaged chest revealed. She went to the desk that sat in the room and took a hold of the 6 arm bands that where there. The armbands looked the same as Hisagi Shuuhei's.

She started to hum to the song that poured into her ears as she rolled up her left sleeve and placed one of the armbands on the junction in-between her shoulder and tricep. She did the same for her other arm. She placed the next one on her wrist of the same arm. She bent down and placed the last two on her ankles; one on each of her ankles.

"Almost forgot my glove." Kari said to herself as she undid the armband on her right wrist and slid her biker glove on. There were no fingers to the glove and there were holes where her knuckles came to a meet. She started to hum once again as she replaced the armband on her wrist.

"Kaname, help me please." Kari whined.

"K K I'm here." Kaname said, sliding into her room, already in her uniform.

"What's missing?" Kari asked as Kaname looked over Kari and then ran out of the room. When she came back, she had a pair of scissors. She started on her work as the song changed to 'Nothing I Won't Give' by one again Vic Mignogna

"There, you so look the fit of the squad 11 placement." Kaname said as she twirled the scissors between her fingers skillfully.

Kari looked at what Kaname had done to her new outfit. Her right sleeve was gone; it now stopped before her shoulder. The black part of her Shihakushō top was cut short compared to the white underneath, but it only went out half an inch before it was covered once again by black. The edge of the now cut off sleeves of both parts to the uniform was uneven, just like the bottom of Kenpachi's haori. Kari looked at Kaname to see that she had made some alterations for herself as well.

Her right sleeve and the surrounding area had been completely cut off, giving her an off-the-shoulder look. Her other sleeve had been cut at the elbow, giving her a shorter sleeve. Her hakama had been cut slashes in it, giving it a ripped pattern. The bottom half of her kimono had been ripped short, having jagged edges and giving her more leg freedom. Her pants had been cut at the knees. Her obi sash was at an angle, hanging on her right hip.

"And last but not least..." Kaname said and pushed the bow in Kari's obi to the left so it hung on her left hip.

"PERFECT!" Kaname chirped, as she walked over to her desk and grabbed Kari's and her earrings. She gave Kari hers then put the ones that belonged to herself on.

Kaname put 4 black studs into her first and second holes in her ears, while in the top of her right ear she put a purple lightning strike that hung on the side of the round silver hoop that went in around the shell of her ear.

Kari put a round black hoop in her top right ear hole. A black chain linked the hoop to another that was in her second hole. The chain once again hooked onto her first hole where another hoop awaited it. The rest of the chain hung down and a black cross with a red jewel in the middle hung at the end. In her left ear she put a small black stud in the only hole she had one the ear, her first hole.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Kaname said as she walked out of the room. Kari followed after her into street.

"So what do you want to do for the next 15 minutes?" Kaname asked Kari as they stated down the street.

"Aren't you missing something?" a voice said from behind them, making them jump.

"KUYA-CHAN!" Kaname whined. "Don't scare us like that"

"Wait, I believe we are missing something ..." Kari said thinking hard. "CRAP our Zanpactou's!" Kari yelled as she took off to get their zanpactous.

A few seconds later, she rushed back with 2 katanas. The first katana had a black scabbard, purple hilt with a black sleeve on it. On its pommel was a black feather. The last katana was also a solid black, the guard was black with a red tint which was stained by previous fights. The handle was a crimson red while the sleeve was black.

Kari gave the first katana to Kaname, to which Kaname attached it onto her left hip, murmuring softly to it. Kari looked over her zanpactou. "So, where do you want to be carried today?" she asked it. Byakuya raised an eyebrow in question.

All of a sudden, a small smirk was plastered onto Kari's face. A black sash formed around her back and chest. She attached her zanpactou onto the sash on her back.

"Man, it feels good to be allowed to wear my Zanpactou again!" Kaname chirped as she twirled down the street.

"I second that." Kari agreed, locking eyes with her best friend.

"What happened to your Shihakushōs?" Byakuya asked Kari, looking both the girls over.

"Kaname" was her reply. Byakuya understood with that short reply and walked off.

"Bye bye Kuya-chan!" Kaname giggled. She giggled as she got a sneeze in reply.

"Hey, let's go to your division for a bit, I want to know if Kuya has a stick up his butt at work too." Kari said as the pair took off towards the 6th division using flash step.

The pair ran through the Seireitei, stopping only to hug a random stuck up noble and get chased around by his bodyguards. When the pair got there, they saw the place was near deserted.

"What the hell? Why isn't Ren chasing us out of the division yet?" Kari said as she looked around at the empty halls.

"I don't know, what do you think happened to all the squad members?" Kaname asked with fright in her voice. The pair wandered the halls in search of the shinigami.

"You think something bad happened? Maybe something like the disappearances 110 years ago?" Kaname whined. "Kaname, if that happened, wouldn't their clothes still be here?" Kari said trying to deny the possibility.

"How 'bout aliens abducted them or maybe they all found out top secret info and were all sent to the maggots nest?" Kaname said, now shaking in fright.

"First, there is no such thing as aliens and second, if we found out top secret information, we would all be killed." Renji said, leaning against the wall a few feet away.

"OH NOES REN-CHAN'S SOUL IS TALKING TO US FROM THE OTHER SIDE! DON'T WORRY REN-CHAN YOU CAN PASS ON IN PEACE, WE'LL TALK CARE OF THE VAMPIRES WHO SUCKED YOUR BLOOD DRY AND STOLE YOUR CLOTHES!" Kaname yelled, running around in circles while Kari held her head in her hands, crouched down facing a wall.

"I don't understand who would want Ren's uniform, smelly socks and 100 year old dirty underwear… I want his sunglasses… REN DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR SUNGLASSES I'LL FIND THEM AND KEEP THEM SAFE BUT NOT FOR YOU!" Kari yelled as she jumped up and raised her fists.

"YOU IDIOTS, I'M NOT DEAD, WHERE'D YOU GET THE VAMPIRES, AND KNOW ONE STOLE MY CLOTHES. KARI TO GET THIS STRAIGHT, MY SOCKS DON'T STINK, I HAVE WASHED AND BOUGHT NEW UNDERWEAR, AND NOOOO YOU CAN'T HAVE MY GLASSES, I PAID HALF MY YEAR'S PAY CHECK FOR IT." Renji yelled at the two females.

"Oh no, he's in denial" Kaname cried, covering her face with her hands.

"Oh crap I wanted those sunglasses!" Kari sobbed but got hit in the head by the person they were talking about.

"I'm right here you idiots." Renji said, towering above Kari.

"OOOOOOOOH!" the friends exclaimed in unison.

*****Cough * *Cough *

"Anyway, everyone in squad 6 are here to welcome the new recruits." Renji said as he led the two to the squad 6 training grounds.

"Ren-chan why aren't you there since you are the newly found lieutenant of the 6th?" Kaname questioned.

"Captain Kuchiki sent me out to go get you: we could hear you from the training grounds, and how did you know that? I'm not lieutenant yet." Renji questioned.

"Secret." Kari whispered as she looked up at the 6'2 male and her best friend.

"Ren you better be careful, Kaname is only 4 inches shorter than you!" Kari giggled.

"Shut up…" he said as they entered the training grounds.

"Kaname, please come up here to introduce yourself. You're late by 10 minutes." Byakuya said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Okey Dokey Cherry!" Kaname said as she jogged up to Byakuya at the front of the crowed of shinigami. Just before getting to Byakuya, she tripped and fell. Byakuya shook his head as she got up. Kari and Renji started to laugh.

"I dare you to try Kari-chan, come see if you can jog here." Kaname smirked.

"Aw shut up!" Kari pouted and turned her head.

Kaname looked over the old and new squad members of the 6th squad and took a deep breath.

"CRAP!" Kari screamed as she and Byakuya plugged their ears. Renji looked at them weird, wondering what they were doing but soon found out why.

"HI!" Kaname yelled high-pitched. Everyone fell to the ground and started to groan in pain.

"Hehehe." she laughed. Kari looked down at Renji to see him start twitching on the floor. "Hahaha Ren is twitching!" she laughed.

Kaname heard her and laughed. "Does he need CPR? I can administer it." She said mischeviously, already walking towards them but Byakuya gave her a death glare. She pouted but stayed put.

Once everyone was back in position, Kaname started her introduction.

"Well anyways, my name is Kōri Kaname. I avoid fighting at most times but will cut down without hesitation. When I get hyper (or rather, all the time) I scream high pitch like before. I live next to Captain Kuya-chan, and no, you shouldn't feel sorry for me, it's kinda the opposite." Kaname laughed. Everyone looked at her weirdly, then suddenly a voice asked "Why?"

"Because it's either Kaname-chan or me that become his wake up call almost every night, with the 'Kuya or Kuya-chan, Kaname or Kari-chan is in jail again." Kari yelled from the back. Kaname and Kari started to howl with laughter. Everyone chuckled but Byakuya, who scowled.

Kaname ran towards Kari and jumped at her with the intention of glomping her to the ground. The problem was… Kari moved and Renji was right behind her.

*Glomp *

"Hehehe sorry Ren-chan" a merry voice twinkled.

* * *

**Oooo, will Ren-chan be okay? WILL HE SURVIVE THE GLOMP OF DOOM? DID KANAME SHATTER HIS SPINE? ...probably. :)**

**Well, you'll just have to keep reading to find out, won't ya?**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Bleach or its characters. We do own Kari, Kaname and their crazy ideas (and adventures!)**

**THIS! IS! A! COLLAB! BY! Chikarita57 and moi. :) We are awesome. You don't need to tell us.**

**BUT PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE! For the insanity's sake! XD**

**Okay...so keep reading! XD Cuz once you start...it's hard to go back...:P**


	4. Chapter 3  Never Underestimate the Hyper

Chapter 3- Never Underestimate the Strength of the Hyperactive…

After the pretty long speech of 'encouragement' Byakuya gave the squad members, he called Kaname and Renji over , and of course Kari came too.

"Are you even listening Kaname?" Byakuya said, highly annoyed.

"Oh looky, a butterfly… anyway sorry, what were you saying?" Kaname said with a light smirk.

Byakuya took a deep breath, "I would highly appreciate you not goofing off and at least doing your work while you're here." he said.

"Aye aye Captain Kuya-chan!" she said as she turned to chat with Renji and Kari.

"Sometimes I wonder if she even hears me." Byakuya growled to himself, scaring away some new recruits that happened to overhear.

"So Kari which squad did you get on?" Renji asked as they turned into the office.

"Oh me? I'm in the 11th" Kari said as she leaned next to the door.

"YOU IN THE 11TH?" Renji yelled, but shut his mouth as Byakuya opened the door.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow in question but shrugged it off.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the recruitment ceremony half an hour ago?" Renji asked as he sorted out the paperwork by division.

"Oh well, they're just big bullies anyway…" Kari said with her nose stuck up in the air. Kaname started to laugh.

"…but aren't you in the 11th?" Renji asked. Kaname stopped laughing. Kari's eye's started to swell up in tears.

"KUYA-CHAN! Ren-chan called Kari-chan a bully!" Kaname whined to Byakuya, chibi crying.

Byakuya took a deep breath and shook his head. "But. But. But. She said… ARRRG! Forget it!" Renji said, throwing his hands up in the air, frustration written all over his face. Kari hid a grin.

"Kari, you really don't care if you're late to the recruitment ceremony of the 11th squad?" Renji asked in surprise after he got her to calm down.

Finally realization dawned on her…

"Aw crap!" She said. Byakuya swiftly left the room. "Yuppers, your right in it!" Kaname chirped cheerfully.

"I better get going … hehehe." Kari said, laughing nervously as she slipped through the door.

"Wait!" Kaname said as she grabbed the pile of paperwork for the 11th division that Renji had.

"Going to go deliver this, might be a bit long, sorry!" she told Renji as she ran after Kari.

"A couple of idiots I tell you…" Renji told himself…

"I HEARD THAT!" Kaname yelled from across the division.

*Sweat drop *

The pair finally got to the squad 11 training ground in the back of the building in 2 minutes without using Flash step. Everyone was spread out across the field training, new members against old. The only ones sitting out was Yumichika, Ikkaku, Kenpachi and Yachiru.

"And he's glaring at me…" Kari said hiding behind Kaname. Kaname laughed at Kari's poor excuse for hiding from a guy 7 and a half inches taller than herself. She tried to pull Kari out from behind her but Kari stayed behind her. When Kaname tried to maneuver herself away, Kari stuck to her back, like a toddler…like Kaname always did.

"If I can't see him, he can't see me!" Kari said into Kaname's back as the group came closer.

"Stop hiding like a coward behind that woman, woman." Kenpachi growled as he picked her up by the back of her robes.

Kaname colored and slapped Kenpachi across the face using Flash step. Kenpachi was stunned. Kaname glared poisonous daggers at him and yelled high-pitched in his ear, "DO I CALL YOU MAN ALL THE TIME? WHY THE HECK DO YOU CALL US 'WOMAN' ALL THE TIME, YOU SEXIST JERK! COME UP WITH A MORE RESPECTFUL NAME OR I WILL BEAT YOUR FACE IN-N-N-N!" She whine-screamed (a technique only Kaname has mastered). Thanfully, Kari had seen it coming and had blocked her ears…

Unfortunately, the rest of Squad 11 (except for Yachiru, who had selective hearing) hadn't been so lucky. They were all on the ground, twitching, except for Kenpachi, who was still up and holding Kari. The rest of the squad and training ground were incapacitated…and would surely have major migraines for the rest of the day.

Kenpachi was still dumbfounded….then he threw his head back and laughed. "Well, I never expected such a **girl** to have such spunk. You have officially impressed me…just a bit. As for your threat, were you serious about that? I'd like to see why you were placed in the 6th squad…"

Kaname glared at him still. She replied in an icy tone, "No, I don't fight sexist pigs. You're not a worthy opponent." Her voice was as cold as a blizzard in Canada (and no! We do not live in igloos!)

Kenpachi smiled, bloodthirsty, about to drop Kari and fight the woman who had insulted him. Fortunately for Kaname, Kari reminded Kenpachi that she was still important.

"What about me? I'm still here! You were mad at me first! If you start with me, finish!"

Kari stuck her tongue out at him then immediately stuck it back in.

"Did you just stick your tongue out at me wo-?" Kenpachi growled and stopped himself from saying 'woman'.

"Nope, you're imagining it." She replied.

"Whatever, now what to do with you…" Kenpachi grumbled. Kari stuck her tongue out again then sucked it back in just as fast.

"You just did it again!" he yelled. Kaname started laughing behind her hand at the huge giant yelling at her pipsqueak sister.

*****Raises eyebrow*

"Did what?" Kari asked in a straight face.

"ARRG! You F**AIRIES** stuck your tongue out at me again!" He yelled and then looked down at Kaname, who had yelled 'fairies' when Kenpachi was swearing to cover it.

"What was that for?" He asked Kaname angrily. "Don't swear in front of little kids." She said, pointing to Yachiru, who was too busy chewing on Ikkaku's head (who was trying to shake her off, running around like a headless chicken) to notice the women.

Kenpachi shook his head and turned his attention back to Kari who was still in his hands.

"You will be doing the paperwork from now till the end of your probation period." He said as he put her down.

"WHAT… THAT AIN'T FAIR! I WANNA FIGHT TOO!" Kari yelled at him.

"You're a woman; you're weak, your calling is for men's pleasures and office work. Women should not be on the battle field. You're weak." He said right in her face. He glanced warily at Kaname, who glared back with fiery eyes. Kari just stood there looking straight into his eyes with her hands on her hips.

Kaname's eyes narrowed. 'So what are you going to do Kari?' she thought. Then her eyes started laughing when she realized what would happen.

"Captain, this woman is so weak she probably can't hurt a fly!" Ikkaku laughed. Yachiru, much smarter than Ikkaku, jumped off his head and out of range onto Kenpachi's back.

"Her fighting skills probably su-…" Ikkaku never got to finish as he was flying across the field through the squad 11's building. Kaname fell on the ground, laughing at the expected reaction.

Kari pulled her right arm back and stood straight. She dusted her hands of all the dirt that was on Ikkaku's filthy Shihakushō when she threw him with one hand.

"I can stand people making fun of women, 'cause they don't know what they are missing. I can stand people who call me weak, 'cause they don't know how strong I really am. I can stand people that are sexist, 'cause it just their opinion. I can't stand people who hurt my friends, 'cause they are important to me. And one of the number one things I can't stand is people making fun of how I fight, 'cause fighting is one of the things I look forward to in a day. Okay, Mr. I-Got-Thrown-Through-A-Wall-By-A-Girl?" Kari said with seriousness leaking from her words.

"K-K-KARI?" Yachiru yelled jumping onto said woman's shoulder.

"CHIRU-CHAN!" Kaname yelled hugging the pink haired girl and making a Kari sandwich.

All seriousness from the passed moment left as Kari giggled wildly.

"You're the lieutenant right? Yuppie I'm not alone!" Kari yelled giving Yachiru a huge hug. Said bundle of fun started to laugh and chat about candy with the two women near her. Finally, Kenpachi and Yumichika snapped out of their daze.

"Holy Shit**talkingmushrooms**, just how strong are you?" Kenpachi said with a bloodthirsty smile but glared at Kaname as she had added the talkingmushrooms part. She smiled innocently back, motioning at Yachiru.

"I'm testing her!" Ikkaku yelled excitedly and glared at Kenpachi, finally getting out of the building and making it towards the group. Finally recovered from Kaname's scream, everyone in the training ground was watching the group as Kari and Ikkaku meet properly, face to face. Kaname looked unconcerned, fiddling with her earrings. Kenpachi noticed and grinned widely. _This should be a good fight_, he thought.

Kari couldn't stand straight as she was being pulled down Yachiru, who was tugging her arm.

"Can you sing me a song? I love your singing!" Yachiru pleaded.

"Umm, what song?" Kari smiled as she knelt down to Yachiru's level.

"You know the song with how that person found you, and how the person saw right through your confusion." she said jumping up and down.

"Oh! You Found Me By Kelly Clarkson." Kaname said as she grabbed the Ipod that was held out to her by Kari. They exchanged a look filled with emotions no one else could understand. Kenpachi, who was watching them intently, couldn't read their expressions.

"I don't wanna hear a word from you or you, got it?" Kari said pointing at Ikkaku first then Kenpachi, her expression fearsome. The two men gulped.

"But I wanna fight you…" Ikkaku said uncertainly, gathering back his courage.

"So, let's do it at the same time." Kari suggested as she spun into a free training field. Ikkaku narrowed his eyes as he came forward, "Hell ya!" He smiled, his fighting spirit surging.

"The name is Ikkaku Madarame 3rd seat of the 11th division, and DON'T CALL ME BALD!" Ikkaku introduced as he unsheathed his sword. Kari smiled back.

"I'm Kari Kurotsuki, NOT KUROTSUCHI, new recruit of the 11th division." She said, comfortably getting into the hakuda hand-to-hand fighting style she leaned in the Shinigami Academy.

Kaname pressed play on the Ipod and the song started to play. She closed her eyes and swayed back and forth.

Ikkaku was the first to attack. He jumped towards Kari and sliced at her side. Kari dodged to the side, then tried to swipe his feet from under him. Ikkaku dodged to the side but got punched in the face, because of not being fast enough. Kari's voice ran out as it rivalled Kelly's own.

**Is this a dream****  
****If it is****  
****Please don't wake me from this high****  
**

Ikkaku quickly got back on his feet and attacked Kari with the sheath of his sword. Kari grabbed the sheath and jumped onto it. She tried to kick his head but was unsuccessful. Ikkaku quickly brought his sword to Kari's foot in order to cut it.

**I've become****  
****Comfortably numb****  
****Until you opened up my eyes****  
**

Without meaning to, Kari's foot slipped and she fell from Ikkaku's sheath, missing the attack. The pair heard laughing come from the 2 female spectators but ignored it. Ikkaku's sword came down on Kari's head but was stopped by her left hand. Not missing a beat Ikkaku swung his sheath to hit Kari…

**To what it's like****  
****When everything's right****  
****I can't believe****  
**

Kari was gone. Ikkaku could hear her singing but couldn't find her.

"Where are you?" Ikkaku asked as he looked around. What he didn't know was that Kari was hiding behind him and following his every movement. Kaname was on the floor laughing, Yachiru was enjoying Kari's singing, Yumichika was in surprise one again, and Kenpachi couldn't understand why Ikkaku didn't know where she was.

**You found me****  
****When no one else was looking****  
****How did you know just where I would be****  
****Yeah you broke through all of my confusion****  
****The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave****  
****I guess that you saw what nobody could see****  
****You found me****  
****You found me****  
**

Out of the corner of his eye, Ikkaku saw a foot go flying in his face. He was too late and was hit full force through a tree a football field away. Kari sat down on the ground waiting for Ikkaku to get up with a smirk on her face. She glanced towards Kaname and saw a warning in her eyes, even as the music lit them up. After a few seconds Ikkaku got up and walked forward. "What say we speed this up a bit?" Kari asked in the small music break of the song. Kaname smiled and hummed along.

**So here we are****  
****And that's pretty far****  
****When you think of where we've been****  
**

"EXTEND HŌZUKIMARU!" Ikkaku yelled as he slamed the sheath and sword together and his zanpactou turned into a spear.

"Oh my gosh, his spear has a beard!" Kaname yelled from the sidelines, which got some weird stares from the whole squad who were now watching. Kaname glanced at Kari and started to sing along. Their voices blended perfectly, making the whole crowd shiver.

**No going back****  
****I'm fading out****  
****All that has faded me within****  
**

Kari put her hand on the hilt of her zanpactou as she heard Kenpachi tell the rest of the squad members to get lost and come back later.

**You're by my side****  
****Now everything's fine****  
****I can't believe**

Ikkaku now stood in front of Kari with his spear pointed at her heart. He lunged forward, aiming just where his spear was pointed. What surprised him was how fast Kari pulled out her zanpactou and defended herself with it. He pulled back and started to try to stab her. Each time she blocked it.

**You found me****  
****When no one else was looking****  
****How did you know just where I would be****  
****Yeah, you broke through****  
****All of my confusions****  
****The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave****  
****I guess that you saw what nobody could see****  
****You found me**

Kari and Kaname kept looking at each other during the chorus but Kari still managed to block every attack. Ikkaku grew frustrated. _How does she do that?_ He thought.

Ikkaku brought the spear forward and just as expected Kari caught just before the hilt. "Split Hōzukimaru" Ikkaku whispered as his spear split in three and the tip went right for Kari's neck. Kari's eyes widened as the tip came closer and closer to her neck.

**You found me****  
****And I was hiding****  
****Till you came along and showed me where I belong**

Instinct came forth and she ducked down, moved closer and slammed her wrist into his jaw. Ikkaku stumbled back but got caught in a high roundhouse kick to the side of the head that sent him flying for another football field.

**You found me****  
****When no one else was looking****  
****How did you know, how did you know**

Kari scratched her head as the song came pouring out of her mouth. Kaname's eyes were closed, giving all her senses into the music. They both put as much emotion in it as they could; they sang it just like Kelly.

**You found me when no one else was looking****  
****How did you know just where I would be****  
****Yeah, You broke through all of my confusion****  
****The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave****  
****I guess that you saw what nobody could see****  
****You found me****  
****You found me****  
**

Seconds pass and Ikkaku didn't get up. Kari walked towards where he had fallen and gave a small smirk. She raised her fists in victory and picked up Ikkaku and his now sealed Zanpactou and brought them back to the group.

**You broke through****  
****All of my confusion****  
****The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave****  
****I guess that you saw what nobody could see****  
****The good and the bad and the things in between****  
**

"HAHAHA! Cue-ball is K.!" Yachiru laughed as she started to dance on his stomach, and Kaname started to laugh at Kenpachi and Yumichika's reaction. She shrugged, as if to say _I told you so_. "You beat him!" Kenpachi said in surprise.

**You found me****  
****You found me.****  
**

"Of course I did." Kari said, standing tall in victory. "I'm fighting you next!" Kenpachi yelled.

"No, you're not, I'm way too tired to do such a exhausting thing!" Kari said, laying on the ground next to a sitting Kaname and a dancing Yachiru.

"I love your singing Kari!" Yachiru said, sitting down almost in Kari's lap.

"Thanks Chiru" Kari smiled.

"WHAT ABOUT ME?" Kaname cried.

Yachiru hurried to comfort her. "I love your singing too! It's amazing!"

Kaname sniffled. Yachiru took out gummy bears and handed them to Kaname.

Kaname frowned tearfully. "I can't eat these. They're my cousins!"

Yachiru's eyes widened as she gasped. "Really?" She breathed.

"Yup." Kaname said, slightly calmer. Kari was laughing so hard that they couldn't hear her breathe.

Kaname pounded her on the back and Kari breathed again. "BREATHE!" Kaname screamed.

"I AM BREATHING, YOU IDIOT!" Kari yelled.

"Oh. Okay." Kaname grinned.

Kenpachi and Yumichika looked at the trio, bewildered and disturbed.

Kari glanced at them. "I know what you're thinking. STOP it right now. Just 'cause I have multiple personalities, doesn't mean you have to be disturbed. And as for Kaname…well, you know her." Kaname's breath hitched at that. Kenpachi noticed and looked at them curiously as Kaname bashed Kari over the head.

"You weirdo dramatic! **You don't have multiple personalities.** Man, you joker." Kaname's laugh was forced. Yachiru looked at Kaname curiously. She reverted back to the gummy bears.

"Can I have one?" Yachiru asked.

Kaname gasped. "You can't eat my cousins!" She wailed. Yachiru pouted and threatened to cry.

Kaname took an orange one, inspected it and then smiled. "You can eat this one. This is my cousin Jeremy. I don't like him; he's mean. EAT HIM."

Yachiru grinned evilly and ripped the gummy bear apart. Kari glared at Kenpachi.

"I wonder where she got that evil habit from…"

"Don't blame me, wom-." He stuttered, raising his hands in defense. Kari dropped it and helped Kaname look for more of her hated cousins.

"So, what if I order you to fight me?" Kenpachi asked Kari. Kari stared at him and then a playful smirk appeared.

"I'd bite you, knock you unconscious then hang you upside down in front of the first division in a pink frilly dress. Oh, and I'd take photos." She said so seriously that her lip didn't even twitch. Kenpachi started to blink.

"Oh! I have a good idea! He gets along fine with Chiru-chan… Therefore, if he acts up, let's set up a daycare and blackmail him into looking after the kids." Kaname laughed.

Kari joined in, "Oh, I have another one. Dye his eye patch Chiru pink. Oh, and tackle hug him into a wall and walk away like nothing happened." Kari laughed, Kaname and her were now rolling on the floor laughing.

"Blackmail him into volunteering at the sick bay in squad 4. Then we have to tell Rits-chan that he is giving the patients Mayo's 'medicine'!" Kaname said as she gave Kari an evil smirk.

By now Kenpachi was afraid… for the first time in his life he was afraid. "I feel for you Captain." Yumichika said as he shook his head.

"She wouldn't do that, I'm her Captain." He said covering the fact that he was in denial.

"Oh, trust me, they've done worst…" A voice said from behind the girls. Kaname's and Kari's head tilted back to see Renji standing a foot away.

"REN-CHAN!" Kaname squealed as she glomped him into a tree.

"Owwww, it feels like I've been hit in the head with a 5 inch thick steel pipe." Ikkaku said holding his head as he sat up.

"Sorry Ick." Kari smiled as she rubbed the back of her head.

"What are you saying sorry for, and what's with the name?" he asked in confusion.

"Because Ick-chan is Ickky!" Kaname laughed as she fell once more to the ground.

"AW great more stupid nicknames…" Ikkaku muttered to himself.

"Anyway, Kaname, I thought you were just going to give the 11th division their paperwork." Renji questioned, looking at Kaname with a glare. She grinned evilly. Renji looked scared as her grin grew wider. She wondered aloud.

"I wonder if you're as shy as Kuya-chan?" She asked and then opened her robe quickly, flashing him with her bra.

"AGHHHH!" he screamed, running behind a tree. Kari laughed hard. "Nope, he's not as shy as Kuya-chan…he looked. PERVERT!"

Kaname grinned at Renji. "Relax. It's a bra. Girls wear it…you've never seen one, Ren-chan? Wow, bet ya he hasn't even kissed a girl…" she said mischeviously, talking to Kari. They both looked at him, evil in their eyes.

"Sooo…how old are you, Ren-chan?"

He blushed and muttered, "The paperwork, please."

Kari snickered and Kaname smiled.

"I am… slowly… Here you go." She answered as she got up and gave the pile of work to Yumichika. "Thanks, beautiful. I love the red hair and green eyes. The names Yumichika Ayasegawa 5th seat of the 11th squad, and you are…?" he asked looking up at the woman.

"Nice to meet you Aya-chan, I'm Kaname Kōri, new member of the 6th squad. I'm also Kari's best friend and sister," she said, pointing at the other woman, who was slowly dosing off.

"Oh…and don't call me beautiful…I prefer "evil", "diabolical", "insane" or…something along those lines," her face darkened. "And I hate guys who use those kind of pick-up lines…" Her eyes showed fire.

*Sweat drop *

"But, you said, not to call you 'woman' so I though…" He said, stuttering as Kaname glared at him.

"You have my name. Use it. Okay?" She grinned sweetly. Yumichika backed away slightly, nodding his head and then looked at the two completely different women. "You guys are…related?"

Kaname shrugged. "By blood, no…by everything else, yep."

Ikkaku got up and looked at Kari with a huge smile. "Paybacks a b**ingo.**" he said, trying not to pay attention to how Kaname had replaced his words. Just as he was going to slam his foot down on Kari's stomach, Kari shot up and walked right towards Kenpachi.

"Oowww!" Ikkaku howled as he slammed him foot onto the ground.

"What's wrong with you, Ick?" Kari asked with a small grin. Ikkaku gave her a glare.

"I found your nickname!" Kari said pointing at Kenpachi.

"Achi!" she grinned as she high-fived Kaname.

Kaname grinned. "Perfect. Achi-chan. It's cute!" She squealed and then ran for her life as Kenpachi chased after her.

"I AM NOT CUTE! I AM TOUGH, STRONG AND FEARSOME! NOT CUTE!" Kenpachi roared.

"Aww! The big ol' 6 foot 7 and a half teddy bear is upset wit his wittle daughter's fwiend!" Kari laughed. Kenpachi changed targets, screaming, "I'm gonna kill you!"

Kari just stood there. Kenpachi stopped and asked menacingly, "Aren't you gonna run?"

Kari smiled. "Nope. 'Cause Teddy knows that if he tried to hurt me, I'll knock him unconscious and Kaname and I will prank him so badly, he'll have nightmares for the rest of his life…" they echoed the last part together, smiling innocently.

Kaname screamed from across the field, "Yeah! Teddy-chan is much better! Good one Kari!" she laughed.

Ikkaku watched his captain get threatened by seemingly-teenage girls who seemed more and more like demons. He shook his head and asked Yachiru, "How do you know those two?"

Yachiru smiled. "We have pranked Byakushi together a few hundred times…that's all." She said, smiling evilly. Ikkaku seemed unconvinced that "that's all"…he shivered and subtly hid behind Yumichika.

Renji came up behind Kaname and started to drag her by the back of her robes. He was looking down at her, so when she turned her head back, their faces were very close. Too close for Renji.

"AHH! Too close, too close! Back off!" He yelled, running behind Ikkaku. Kaname grinned.

"Geez, Ren-chan! Do you have **no** experience with girls? If you wanna kiss me, you gotta follow through to the end! You can't just run away halfway through!"

Kari fell to the ground laughing, rolling back and forth, hitting people's legs, including tripping Renji so he fell on top of her, his face inches from hers. He blushed.

"TOO CLOSE, TOO CLOSE! AHHH!" He jumped up and backed away, slowly running towards Kaname.

Kaname slapped him across the face when he came near. "I thought you liked me, Ren-chan!' She said tearfully.

"What the hell? Um, no, don't cry! I, um, of course I like you! Just not that-" Renji stammered.

Kaname brightened considerably. "Yay! You do? That's great!" She said and she kissed him on the cheek.

Renji blushed and muttered to her, "Let's go, Kaname!" and started to pull her towards the 6th division. The squad 11 members started to gather around after their little break. A few chuckled to see the lieutenant of Squad 6 blush. Mutters of "Little Renji is in love" and "Little Renji is blushing!" and even a few "Lucky guy" were heard.

Kari yelled after her, "Have fu-un!"

Kaname giggled and yelled back, "We will!" and grinned suggestively. The Squad members laughed. Renji pulled her away faster, hurting her arm. "Ow, Ren-chan! Not so rough!" She laughed she realized what she said.

Kari laughed. Kaname yelled again, "See you in jail! Or, if the world is off its axis, see ya at home!"

Kari laughed again. "See ya! Oh, yeah! I have to go pick up our nameplate!"

The squad 11 members raised their eyebrows in question. Kari grinned and explained,

"At least once a day, one of us are in jail; normally for hugging a noble or pulling pranks. And, Kuya has to bail us out…we're in jail so much that we have our own cell, LazyBoy couch, CD player, mini-fridge and manga…So I have to pick up our nameplate to put on our cell."

They all gazed in wonder. "What's a CD player? What's a fridge? What's a LazyBoy couch? What's manga?" They breathed.

Kari gasped. "You don't know what manga is? It's Japanese comics, but even better than regular comics! It's **art**! A CD player is a device that plays music, a fridge is something that keeps your food cold and a LazyBoy couch…is a couch…a comfy one at that."

The squad members gasped and asked Kari more questions. She laughed and explained things. Kenpachi couldn't believe his tough squad members were fascinated by this stuff. He glanced at Yumichika. He was still smarting from Kaname's lecture. Yachiru was happily munching on Kaname's disliked "relatives" while Ikkaku was muttering about revenge in his corner. AKA: His tree.

Kenpachi growled. "I'm going to have a handful with that…that…**Kari**," and he tried not to say 'woman'. Then he groaned loudly…_And of course, her annoying friend will be here too…what have I gotten myself into?_

_

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**HIIIIIIII! We're back! Chikarita57 and me! As, you know, ourselves...yeah. :)**

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**DISCLAIMER: We do NOT (though we wish we did) own Bleach or its characters! We DO own Kari, Kaname, their ideas and crazy adventures! Got it?**

**So, please stay tuned for more on their crazy story! Hope you enjoy and get some cookies! X3**


	5. Chapter 4 Unwanted Visitor

Chapter 4 – Unwanted Visitor

Kaname walked down the seemingly-endless hallways of the jail that Kari had walked through a few nights past. Of course, she didn't know that. So she wandered the halls, wondering where she was. The walls seemed endless and Kaname started to feel trapped. The whole place took on a red tint…like blood. Like fear.

_She ran down the hall and smacked into a huge iron gate. It seemed to have no end; it went beyond her line of vision. She scoured the darkness inside and spotted a shadow. Looking more closely, she saw a flash of dark hair and bright eyes._

"_No." She breathed. "Kari? What are you doing here? What the hell is going on? ANSWER ME KARI! WHO DID THIS?" She screamed at the lump._

_The lump slowly crawled forward until it reached the bars. Shaking hands pulled the body upwards until she was standing. Kaname started to tremble with anger, fear and the sense of looking at a stranger. __**This doesn't feel like Kari! It's more…sinister, bloodthirsty…and, spiteful…**_

_Kaname's eyes started to widen as she realized what this __**creature**__ was. She looked closer and, sure enough, grey eyes were accompanied with a smirk._

_Kaname's eyes hardened. She asked in her steeliest voice, "What the hell are you doing here, Saria?"_

_Saria sneered. "Is that any way to treat your old friend?"_

_Kaname's eyes burned with intense blue flames; almost as intense as her anger. "You have __**never**__ been my friend Saria. Now, I'll ask again," her hands shot through the bars, faster than even thought, and gripped Saria's neck. Saria didn't flinch; the smirk never left her face._

"_Ooh, Kaname, you never swear; I must have really pissed you off. Do you really hate me that much? I must have really struck a nerve." Saria's cold fingertips danced across the skin of Kaname's arm, feeling like death. Kaname's hand shook in anger. Kaname's other hand shot out and broke Saria's fingers, ending her dance. Saria's smirk drooped a bit but then regained its power._

_Kaname's already death-like grip tightened until Saria's neck grew purple and Kaname's fingernails started to pierce her skin._

"_**Never say my name, you demon!**__" Kaname spat at the woman in front of her. "WHERE THE HELL IS KARI, YOU WITCH? I SWEAR, I WILL BLOODY MURDER YOU IF YOU DID SOMETHING!" Kaname's face was black as pure, cold fury overtook her. Her fingers reached Saria's spine, threatening to snap it at any given moment._

_Saria sneered. "You can't do that, Kaname__**-chan**__. It's an empty purpose. Kill me and you might as well have killed yourself!" Saria taunted, dangling the truth in her face. Kaname's hand loosened a bit but she still held a firm grip on Saria's neck. Her fingers moved away from her spine reluctantly. _

"_I'll ask you one more freaking time. Where. The. Hell. Is. Kari?" Kaname yelled, angry tears flowing. Saria grinned a smile so purely evil that Kaname felt a part of her shrivel up._

"_She's right here. Remember when you first found her? She's back in that place. Right here." Saria smirked._

_Kaname turned around and saw millions of doors in the hallway. Suddenly, she felt air where Saria's neck had been. She whirled around and saw nothing. Kaname's desperate eyes searched the darkness, searched the red, searched everywhere within seconds. __**Nothing**__._

_A voice spoke into Kaname's ear, raising goosebumps. "I won't have disappeared for long. I'm still here. Just, for now, I'll stay. But watch out, 'cause I __**will**__ be back…and I just might be reckless again. Wonder what she'll lose this time?" The voice cackled madly, pure, concentrated evil swirling in and out of her voice. Kaname's eyes filled with tears as she swiped at the air. Feeling nothing, she started to scream as the walls started to close in…_

Kaname woke with a gasp, in a cold sweat. She cried silently, feeling the sheer terror again and again. Her heart was beating wildly and she felt like it would explode. Remembering the search for Kari, she whipped around to look at her. _She wasn't there._

Kaname started to scream Kari's name, crying hard and stumbling through the house, falling on the walls and trying to search through the thick veil of tears. Her voice grew hoarse as she finally climbed to the attic.

She heard some distant humming and her heart soared. Running up the stairs, tripping and trying to keep going, she finally found Kari on the roof, swinging her legs over the edge and humming "Circus in the Dark Woods", a vocaloid, the music blasting out of her Ipod. Kari's eyes were distant and glazed over; that only happened when she had a bad dream.

Kari heard Kaname approach and said, without facing her, "I had the freakiest dream ever. It was…terrifying. It seemed as if I was in those halls, once again."

Kaname cried harder, feeling relief at finding Kari okay and sorrow at the mention of those halls. She clutched her chest, grabbing at the fabric that prevented her from reaching it. She couldn't breathe properly. She kept grabbing at the fabric, trying to give herself more room to breathe.

Then a shadow flash-stepped towards them, quickly approaching. Kaname heard and turned her head into the chest that waited there, crying so hard but so quiet. She took huge gasps of air, trying to breathe out her terror.

Byakuya pulled her closer and rested his head on hers as her legs were shaking and she couldn't stand straight. She wanted to curl up into a ball and die; but she couldn't: Kari needed her. She needed Kari. That was worth living for.

Finally, after a long time of crying and humming, the girls wiped away their tears and buried their feelings of mixed terror and pain within themselves. Kaname thanked Byakuya for being there. She tried to joke, "Literally, a shoulder to cry on" but he knew she was far from joking.

He simply tapped her head with his fist and flash-stepped away, after giving the smallest of smiles and the warmest of eyes. Even to Kari, though she wasn't looking.

Kaname looked sadly at her friend and sat down next to her. They both hummed the same song, using music as their comfort. There, they watched the sun rise and bring a new day.

Kaname started to stand up, knowing that they still had their jobs to do when Kari said, out of the blue, "Well, we weren't in jail tonight. Looks like the world is coming to an end." She said it softly, very un-Kari like.

Kaname smiled softly and pulled her friend up. They both walked downstairs, arms around each other as they got ready to face a new day. After all, what could they achieve by worrying? Even though Kari didn't know the whole truth behind the dream, even she knew that something awful was coming. Both of them had dreams so terrible that they had to retreat inside themselves. But now, they had to face a new day. Move forward…and forget about the past. At least try to, anyways. They were both past forgetting.

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**Ooooooh! *goosebumps* That. Was...scary. Right, Chikarita57?**

**Well, this was a taste of the serious, dark stuff of what we CAN and WILL come up with, in the future.**

**For a really bone-chilling effect, listen to Circus in the Dark Woods (Vocaloid) over and over while reading it. It's amazing, trust us. We don't own the song, tho.**

**DISCLAIMER: We do NOT own Bleach or its characters. We do own Kaname, Kari, Saria, their house, their ideas and their freaky situations and THAT hallway...yes, we are amazing. Thanks. :)**

**Okay, well I promised to keep it serious. SO, remember to keep reading, review and REMEMBER: this is a collab between myself and Chikarita57, so fave us both or something. :)**

**KEEP READING!**


	6. Chapter 5 Prison, Couches, Councils and

Chapter 5 – Prison, Couches, Councils and Sake

Time passed by fast and before the two women knew it, Renji and Byakuya were coming back from getting Rukia from the world of the living.

Kari moved up in ranks to 4th seat to be exact, and Kaname to 3rd . How did Kaname move up to the 3rd you may ask? WELL, while trying to set up a prank, Renji found Kari and Kaname in the act. Renji thought it would be a good idea to scare Kaname, and sadly, was kicked in the face, and flew through a wall, getting knocked unconscious.

As of now, the girls sat on the roof of the 11th division, hiding with Yachiru because of they were in the middle of pranking Ikkaku, which involved a wig and crazy glue. They giggled watching Ikkaku running around like Kenpachi with Yachiru's instructions, trying to find them. They laughed even harder as he ran the other way. They started to pound the roof and roll around…it was hilarious 'till Kaname fell off the roof… then they started to laugh harder.

Kaname fell straight down into the waiting arms of… "MY HERO!" Kaname said dramatically as she stroked Renji's face in a loving matter. Renji just gave her a look, as if to say, "Where the hell did you come from?" Kari and Yachiru laughed even harder at that as they peeked out from the edge of the roof. Renji started blushing as Kaname looked deep into his brown eyes.

"Get a room!" Kari choked out in-between breaths, "Oh we intend to!" Kaname said suggestively. Kari and Yachiru started to laugh even harder (if it was even possible) at the blushing Pineapple.

Renji took a deep breath as he put Kaname down. However, Kaname refused to be put down. She clung to him. Kari and Yachiru almost fell off the roof as they saw a struggling pineapple trying to get Kaname off of him.

Finally, Kaname let go. As she fell to the ground, she whined, "Ren-chan! You're so mean! Owwie!" She started to cry. Renji was flustered; he didn't know what to do with the crying 3rd seat.

Kari jumped off the roof and glomped Renji to the ground. "REN!" she screamed then went to Kaname's side.

"Why'd you laugh when I fell?" Kaname whined to Kari, wiping away her (fake) tears.

"Because you cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder!" She said in hysterical laughter. Kaname joined in, knowing full well that she would do the same in Kari's position.

"So Kia-chan is back?" Kaname asked as she went up to Renji ,who just got up from Kari's glomp.

"Yeah, and we found out she gave her powers to a human." Renji said angrily, the two girls were shocked. Kaname backed away a bit as Renji's temper flared as red as his hair.

"So she's in jail." Kaname said not concerned at all, "Are you worried at all?" He questioned, now bemused. "Nope." Kari grinned, trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Renji questioned, annoyed. "What are you wearing" Kari tried to ask but burst out laughing. Kaname looked at the white yukata with pink flowers on it and giggled.

"WHAT? IT'S MY DAY OFF LEAVE ME ALONE!" Renji growled loudly. Kaname giggled. "Now that's sexy." Renji blushed.

"Where's Chiru?" Kari asked changing the topic. "Don't know." Kaname answered, still staring at Renji.

"Well, see you at prison." Kari said flash stepping away. Kaname smiled a great smile while advancing on Renji.

"What?" he questioned, trying to back away but found himself against the wall. He blushed when Kaname's face was centimetres away. She grinned and placed a small kiss on his cheek, then flash stepped away.

"Why does she always tease me like that?" He subconsciously pouted, touching his face where she kissed him, blushing lightly.

"Kaname, want a drink?" Kari asked as she bent over and opened the mini fridge. Once again, the women were in jail and relaxing.

"Sure, can I have some 7-Up?" She said, lying on their couch. Kari gave Kaname her 7-Up and took a sip of sake that she snuck in. Kari walked to the wall and slid down.

"So Kia, how's the world of the living this time around?" She asked Rukia, who sat back to back with Kari, who was just on the other side of the wall.

"Very lively, they have metal tin cans that move!" She answered knowing full well that was not the answer Kari wanted. The bottle of sake slipped through the bars, and Rukia stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing it and taking a swing. She passed it back through the bars, where Kari grabbed it and took another swing.

"Kia-chan, answer Kari-chan properly." Kaname scolded, as she looked towards the wall Kari and Rukia were sitting against. She flipped onto her stomach and put her chin in her hands as she and Kari exchanged a look.

Rukia looked up from the ground and stared at the ceiling and debated over telling them what they wanted to know.

"There are a lot of people with high spirit energy." She answered finally. "Including the one who you gave your powers to..." Kaname finished for Rukia. "What's his name?" Kari asked, passing the bottle back towards Rukia.

She took it and waved it around making the liquid inside swirled inside the bottle. She took one last swing before swallowing the liquid and passing the bottle to Kari and getting up.

"Ichigo … Ichigo Kurosaki", Rukia sat back in her chair.

"Number 1 guardian eh?" Kaname said, pouting as she compacted her empty can of 7 up. Kari started to giggle, "Looks like we're going to have some fun with a black-point strawberry."

Kaname giggled. "So, Rukia, you liiiiiiiike him, don't ya? Hmm, was he really hot? He was, wasn't he? You don't like just ANYONE. Tell us more!"

Renji chose that moment to walk in. He heard Kaname and shook his head. He walked up to Rukia cell and didn't say a word. Rukia also didn't say a word.

Kaname grinned at Kari and then asked Renji, "Hey, Ren-chan? You saw that Strawberry guy, right? Was he hot? Did you see his abs or anything? Come on, Ren-chan, we wanna know!"

Renji turned around and started yelling, "WHAT THE HELL? WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THAT? NO, I DIDN'T SEE HIS…WHATEVER AND WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME, KANAME, LIKE I WOULD KNOW?" Renji's face was bright red. Kaname grinned. "Looks like someone's jealous." She winked at him.

Renji's face got even more red and Kari changed the subject, fearing he burst a blood vessel.

"Thanks a lot Rukia, you drank all my sake!" Kari pouted as she tried to get the last drop of sake out of the bottle.

"WHAT? How the hell did you get sake in here?" Renji asked, fully confused.

"How did we get a couch in here?" Kaname replied with a playful smirk. Renji ignored the question

"Renji, am I going to die?" Rukia asked quietly. Renji turned towards her.

"No way! Captain Kuchiki is probably begging for your life, as we speak!" Renji said. Kari snorted in disbelief, "Oh yes, I would love to see that happen." Kari would've paid half her paycheque to see that.

Kari and Kaname already knew what was going to happen as Byakuya gave the message. He unlocked Kari and Kaname's cell and swiftly left the room, not looking at either of them.

Kari came out first, Kaname following. Kaname glared at Renji, telling him to leave. "How do I know your not going to try to bust her out?" Renji asked, feeling slightly hurt but left the room at the icy and dangerous glares he got.

"Kia-chan, I can tell you this much, when the human that you gave your powers comes to rescue you, you can be sure we will be helping." Kaname said with a smile.

"I messed up his life Kaname; why would he come and save me?" She whispered and turned to face them.

"Kia you're so blind, I bet you he'll come and he'll beat Kuya." Kari smiled and then disappeared along with Kaname. Rukia was left staring off into space, thinking of the human world.

"So what do you want to do?" Kaname whined.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" Kari whined right back.

The women were roaming the 6th squad, wondering what they should do when a hell butterfly came to land on Kaname's outstretched finger. "4th seat of the 11th division Kari Kurotsuki and 3rd seat of the 6th squad Kaname Kōri, you are to report to he captain meeting room for your new mission" the butterfly said.

Kaname flicked it off her finger and blew her hair out of her face. Kari laughed as the butterfly muttered angrily to itself as it hobbled away.

The two friends looked at each other and smirked. "Wanna race?"

"You're on!"

The Captain Commander awaited the women along with the rest of the captains. The message was sent out just a few minutes ago and they expected to see them in about 10 minutes. The Captains were chatting among themselves when the floor started to vibrate.

All of a sudden, the doors flew open and Kari and Kaname went flying in.

"Why am I the slowest?" Kaname pouted as she flopped onto the ground, sweating and pouting. "Maybe you should train more." Kari said with a smirk, as she wiped the sweat that rolled down her temple.

"Hey I work just as hard as you!" Kaname countered.

"How did you guys get here so fast?" Ukitake asked amazed. The females looked at each other and smirked. They turned back to him, with a "no duh" look on their faces.

"Jūshi-chan, just who did we use to hang around, years ago?" Kaname pouted, upset he didn't remember.

"Oh that's true." Ukitake said laughing nervously. All the other captains except for Shunsui, Unohana, Byakuya, Mayuri, and the Captain commander himself looked confused.

"Kari Kurotsuki and Kaname Kōri, you are hereby ordered to investigate the appearance of a strange reiatsu in Karakura Town. You leave immediately." The Captain Commander commanded. Kaname caught the small frown that Gin made but as soon as it was there it was gone.

"Aye, aye Captain" The women echoed.

"Who lives in a pineapple (REN-CHAN) under the sea?" Kaname asked.

"SpongeBob SquarePants!" Kari answered right back.

"Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!" Kaname smirked.

"SpongeBob SquarePants!"

"If nautical nonsense be something you wish…(TEDDY-CHAN!)"

"SpongeBob SquarePants!"

"Then drop on a deck and flop like a fish" Kaname sang.

Everyone gave the pair a funny look. "Geez, haven't you guys ever watched SpongeBob?" Kaname said, walking out of the room. Kari walked out after her after giving an intense stare to the captains.

The captains all looked at each other. Captain Hitsugaya spoke up. "Well, I'm glad that we picked them to go. Finally, some peace and quiet!" The Captains all aye-d heartily.

The friends then went home to get a few things, then went straight to the gate that lead to the human world.

After getting a cell phone with the whereabouts of the hollow on it, the friends left.

"So were are we going to look first?" Kaname asked as they walked out of the Senkaimon. They looked around the place where they landed and the tall buildings surrounding them.

They walked towards a small shop. "Urahara shoten? It couldn't be…" The women hid their spiritual pressure so that it can't be detected and creeped inside the open window on the 2nd floor.

Careful not to be spotted, the women went into the back room and down into the basement. Urahara touched the Senkaimon but pulled back quick after he was shocked. "Ki/ Ki-chan" was yelled before he was tackle hugged by the pair.

"Kari? Kaname? What are you guys doing here?" Kisuke said as he hugged the women back, but shut up when he saw their uniforms.

"So you became Shinigami?" Tessai asked as he came forward with Ururu and Jinta.

"Yuppers… Where's Yoruichi? And Shishi-chan?" Kaname asked with fake tears in her eyes.

"Hehehe, well... I have no clue were Shinji is, but as for Yoruichi... you just missed her. She left with Ichigo to save Rukia." Kisuke said as he rubbed the back of his head nervously. The women looked at each other with comical tears in their eyes.

Kari groaned. "That Strawberry! First he takes Rukia's powers and makes her sad and now he goes off with Yoruichi! That PLAYER!" Kari resolved to prank him in the near future.

Kaname grinned. "I actually feel bad for him. You know what she's like…" Both the women grinned as they thought of their prankster older sister.

"Come on, let's have a drink upstairs while you tell me what the Soul Society's been like in the past century." Kisuke said as they climbed the ladder and came to the table. Ururu and Jinta peeked through the window and Jinta loudly exclaimed, "Who the heck are THEY?" Kari gave him a death glare as Kaname smiled wickedly at him. They motioned to his baseball bat. Jinta gulped and ran. Ururu giggled.

"Tessai! can you bring our guests some tea please!" Kisuke said in his cheerful voice.

Kaname added, "Ooh, make it green tea and chai please! Oh, with cookies too, if you have any, Tes-chan!"

"Right away sir…and Ms. Kaname!" he said as he rushed out of the room.

The friends then started to inform Kisuke of the new captains and new pranks that have been pulled in the Soul Society (by them, of course).

"And now we have to find this new weird hollow thingy." Kari finished as she downed her tea in one shot. Kaname followed her example.

"Hmm, just so you know. Do you remember the Hōgyoku?" Kisuke said scratching his chin.

"Ya why?" Kaname asked munching on a cookie.

"I put it in Rukia's gigai." He said then hurried to try and protect his face but still got a foot in the face.

"YOU IDIOT, IT MIGHT KILL HER IS SHE IS SAVED!" Kari yelled her foot on his head.

"Calm down if she is saved I will take it out of her, but I want you to be aware of it just in case a certain someone tries to take it" Kisuke said thankful that Kari removed her foot.

"Ki-chan, can we borrow some gigais? " Kaname asked with a devilish grin. Being too afraid to refuse, Kisuke nodded and lead them to the back.

"Here you go and be careful with them!" Kisuke said as he watched the women get into the gigai that he had already prepared for them.

Kari looked over at Kaname nodded approvingly. She had a knee-length black skirt on with a sun yellow top. On her feet, she wore cowboy boots that went just below her knee. Her lower back-length red hair was in a ponytail.

Kari looked down and squealed. "OMG, I love the jacket!" She wore an open, long, leather trench coat over a leather halter top. She wore a pair of very tight leather jeans, and a pair of two-inch high heeled boots that went up to her knees. Her left arm was still covered by the same glove she usually wore and she still had the same biker glove on her right hand.

"I love the shoes!" she squealed again "Thanks Ki\Ki-chan!" the girls said, hugging the man once more. Kisuke smiled nervously as he bid them farewell.

The two women completely hid their reiatsu and left the shop in search of the strange reiatsu of Karakura Town.


	7. Chapter 6 Captains, Carnivals and Kittie

Chapter 6- Captains, Carnivals and Kitties!

Kari tripped over a rock and fell on her face. Kaname tried to stifle a laugh but was unsuccessful. As they both laughed, they soon came upon an amusement park.

Kari gave a Kaname a small glare to which was answered by giggles. Chasing Kaname around the park, they finally stopped at a forest for a small break.

Kari leaned against a tree and took in the site of the ferris wheel turning round with its bright lights. "Pretty!" Kaname stated as she sat next to her.

Taking out the phone she had gotten from the Soul Society, Kaname looked at the map to find where the strange reiatsu was, but found nothing. Shrugging, she ate from the bag of popcorn Kari held.

Kari's head fell against the tree as she looked up. She blinked a few times but regained her grin as she poked Kaname and pointed up in the tree.

There the two friends saw blue among the leaves. Kari, slowly and more quietly than a mouse, climbed the tree and sat cross legged on the same branch as what looked like a blue-haired man 28 years of age.

He wore a black jean jacket with matching jeans, a tight white muscle shirt and navy blue shoes. His eyes were closed as if he were sleeping. As if on cue a robin came down and pecked his nose.

"Ow!" He yelled and fell out of the tree. "What the h*** you d*** stupid bird! Go f***in peck on someone your own size!" he growled, shaking his fist at the bird as it flew off. He turned around, wanting to go back to sleep but noticed the two women laughing their heads off.

Kari fell out of the tree and onto her back as she laughed too hard. The blue-haired blue-eyed man growled at the females, which only made them laugh harder. Kaname couldn't breathe as she rolled around on the ground, getting leaves and grass in her hair.

"What do you want?" The man asked once the women stopped laughing.

Kaname looked at Kari with an evil glimmer in her eye and Kari immediately caught on and smiled.

"What's your name?" Kaname asked the man.

"Grimmjow JeagerJaques" he said. 'I don't like the look in their eyes' Grimmjow told himself.

Kari cleared her throat "So Grimm… Lets go on THAT!" She said pointing to the largest ride on the park.

"Why the h*** would I want to go on that with you?" He growled "And don't call me Grimm." he added.

The girls looked at him as if he was an alien. "Um, hello? You're at an AMUSEMENT PARK?" Kaname practically yelled at him "Grimmy-chan" she added quietly with a smirk.

"Lets GO ALREADY!" Kari yelled as she grabbed a hold of Grimmjow's arm and pulled him towards the largest roller coaster ride in the park. Grimmjow found himself being pulled by the two incredibly strong women as he tried to resist.

After the ride Kari, Kaname and Grimmjow sat down at a bench. Grimmjow had his head in his hands slowly rocking back and forth, moaning.

"HAHAHAHA, oh my gosh that's just hilarious!" Kaname laughed.

"Grimmy can't handle heights, maybe he's a cat!" Kari croaked out.

***Flashback***

"So what the h*** is this thing suppose to do?" Grimmjow said clearly annoyed as the roller coaster started to rise.

"Oh you've never been on one? Well, what goes up must come down!" Kari giggled in anticipation. She sat in the middle of Kaname and Grimmjow.

"I love the adrenaline rush! Oh Grimmy-chan, I hope you're not afraid of heights!" Kaname smiled.

"Don't f***in' call me Grimmy… and on the off chance I am, what will happen?" he curiously asked. Kari smiled and grabbed both his hands and held them up high.

"Then what I'm doing is really really cruel!" she laughed as he looked confused. And then roller coaster dropped… in a 90 degree angle.

***End of Flashback***

"Shut up b**unny**" Grimmjow glared at the two laughing women. "What the h**eck **was that for?" he asked Kaname.

"Kids." She said pointing at the big line of 6 year olds that passed by, looking at him innocently.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, 'Man, these women are strange'.

"Don't call us women." Kari growled in his ear.

"Come on, let's go to another ride!" Kaname yelled, running for the teacups.

'Make that VERY strange' he said as he was pulled across the park.

An hour later

"That was fun!" Kaname smiled as Kari and herself watched Grimmjow puke in a garbage can.

"No more rides" Grimmjow growled and then puked once more.

Kari and Kaname started to laugh. "How were we suppose to know you don't like rides that have big heights or that get you dizzy?" Kari smiled.

'That's it! Why the hell am I even with them anyway?' Grimmjow asked himself.

"'Cause you love us!" Kaname laughed.

"Are you guys mind readers by any chance?" he asked the best friends.

"Sadly no, but we did try to be them long ago… well maybe like 10 years ago." Kari said, chuckling softly.

"I'm gone." he growled as he turned around and started to walk away. Kaname whistled softly under her breath. "Oh boy…"

"Wait! You haven't had cotton candy yet! THIS TRIP IS NOT DONE!" Kari yelled, tackling Grimmjow to the ground.

"Will you get off me?" Grimmjow yelled annoyed. Kaname glanced nervously at all the humans who were staring at the strange pair. She laughed. "Stubborn couple."

Kari started pulling Grimmjow again.

"I don't care! I wanna go to sleep!" He yelled and walked off stubbornly, not knowing what was going to hit him in the head… literally.

BANG

"What the f*** was that for?" he growled, getting up off the floor and rubbing his head. He looked down and there laying next to him was a boot… not just any boot but a two inch high heeled boot… Kari's boot.

He stared intently at her. She stared intently at him. Kaname started running in circles. Kari and Grimmjow gave her an incredulous look. Kari looked at her best friend. "WHAT are you doing?"

"Um she didn't mean it... um okay maybe she did but still she um…" Kaname managed. Grimmjow changed his gaze to her and she stopped.

One of Kari's eyebrows raised at Grimmjow as he picked up her boot. Without waiting to see what he was going to do to it, Kari grabbed the boot from his hands and slipped it on.

"Now that I have your attention, let's get some cotton candy!" Kari said, leading the way to the stall. Kaname stared at her best friend.

"Why am I surprised?" she said shaking her head and walking after Kari.

A smirk soon formed on Grimmjow's face. 'How interesting; she is definitely not a shinigami, but she has a h*** of a lot of guts' he thought as he slowly followed the women to the candy stall. Kaname gave him a glare. "Kids" she mouthed, pointing at the little kids in line.

For the first time Grimmjow gave Kari a hard look. Black hair, bright yellow eyes, leather clothes, about 5'7, very well-built, curves in all the right places, a mysterious glove that passes her shoulder and about the age of 18. 'Overall; young, has guts, stubborn, hot, and mysterious' he thought, humming in satisfaction.

"Cotton candy good Grimmy-kitty-chan?" Kaname said because of his hum.

"I guess." he answered studying the candy infront of him. "Wait? What did you just call me?"

The group soon came to the forest they had met at. Grimmjow stared into the forest and saw a flicker of green and white. 'Crap' he thought.

"I'm gone and don't even try to stop me." He growled, taking one last glace at the women and walking into the woods.

"Bye bye! Thanks for a great time!" the girls waved, to which they got a small salute in response. Kaname took out her Soul Society phone and opened it once Grimmjow was out of sight. A red dot appeared and started to move in the same direction as Grimmjow went.

"We got our guy. That was easy." Kaname said with a smirk.

"So, we tell the Soul Society what he is right? Not who?" Kari said hopefully and got a nod in reply. The women started to nibble on the rest of the cotton candy.

"Why'd I fall for him?" Kari asked her best friend.

"The same reason why I fell for Renji… the height. And because it's so fun to annoy him." The girls laughed at this and started to walk back to Urahara's shop.

With Grimmjow

"What do you want Emo-Trash?" Grimmjow growled at the 4th espada.

Ulquiorra ignored the name.

"Why were you with that trash, Aizen-sama forbids us to leave Hueco Mundo." Ulquiorra preached.

"I don't give a flying f***" Grimmjow snorted, getting out of his gigai. "Go tell someone who cares." he said slipping through a Garganta into Hueco Mundo.

He headed to his room in Las Noches, thinking all the while of the next meeting between Kari and himself.

Back with Kari and Kaname

"It feels good to back in the Soul Society." The girls said as they walk through the Senkaimon. Talk from all over the Seiretei flooded their ears in seconds, but only a few caught their ears.

"Can you believe the lieutenant of the 6th squad Renji was defeated in battle!", "Captain Zaraki was defeated by the same person who defeated Renji!" and "Can you believe Rukia Kuchiki's execution has been moved up to the next day?"

The two friends eyes widened in shock. As fast as possible, the two quickly flash-stepped to the Kuchiki household, where Byakuya was having dinner.

"Is it true?" Kaname said as she slammed her fists on his dinner table, breaking it into splinters. Lighting flashed outside while the wind blew hard. "Yes, now go give you report to the head captain and then go to bed." he said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and left the room.

"BLOODY HELL!" Kaname screamed as she ran into the storm outside and let the wind whip her hair round.

Kari was silent as she looked up at the lightning striking all around. "Can you give the report for me? I need to talk to certain someones and I'm going to bed; I've put off sleep for so long." Kari said.

Kaname looked at her friend in disbelief, but as she saw the condition and the oh-so-familiar sluggish movements, she immediately agreed. "Have a nice sleep Kari." Kaname said as she flash-stepped her way to the first division. Lightning still flashed all round her.

She knocked then opened the doors widen when she heard a 'come in'.

"Hello Kaname… where is Kari?" Gin asked with a sweet smile, but was taken aback by a harsh glare in his direction.

"Yes, where is Kari" The Captain Commander asked. "She was sleepy so I told her I'd tell you our report." Kaname smiled her regular smile, which made Gin suspicious.

"Well go on then." The head captain ordered.

"Right, anyway Kari and I found the strange reiatsu." T_ō_sen's eyes narrowed 'Grimmjow' he thought.

"It's also a hollow, even though it looks human, there was indeed part of a hollow mask on its face." She finished. She smiled to herself as she thought of Gimmjow as an "it". She bowed slightly and left once dismissed.

Kaname ran as fast as her long legs would carry her to her house. She ran up the stairs to Kari and her own room to find Kari not there.

"No, not now FREAKING HELL!" Kaname yelled as she fell onto her bed. Tears streamed down her eyes. _**"She's coming."**_

With Kari

Kari watched Kaname leave and turned towards a certain secret hideout where she knew a few people were hiding.

She slid down the ladder and flash-stepped towards a rock were she heard a familiar voice. "Oh, come on you might never be able to see it again" A female voice said, Kari smiled 'Good old Yoruichi'.

Only once Yoruichi and another kid were dressed did she reveal herself.

When the kid saw Kari he immediately grabbed his sword and before Yoruichi could stop him, he swung it down on Kari.

"I don't have time for this!" Kari growled as she caught the overgrown sword with the thumb and index finger of her right hand.

The kid was surprised none the less. "Kari?" Yoruichi said.

"I don't have much time Yoruichi" she said in a hurry.

Renji came around a boulder and was surprised to see Kari. "Rukia's execution is tomorrow at noon." she said.

"Yes I know." Yoruichi answered back.

"Good." Kari let go of the kid's blade and turned her back.

"Ichigo. This is Kari Kurotsuki, one of the two who taught me flash-step." She said.

"WHAT! Kari, you taught Yoruichi flash-step?" Renji yelled.

"I'm sorry I have to go, I'm really tired and I'm going to sleep." Kari said, smiling a soft smile as a yawn escaped her.

"Have a nice sleep Kari." Yoruichi said to thin air as Kari left the underground training area. Her fist bundled up. "Don't let her bite." she mumbled.

Within seconds, Kari was standing next to her beaten-up, sleeping Captain. A smirk was all she could muster as she silently took one of the bells from his hair.

Quickly she flash-stepped back to Kaname's to grab the earring she had started to work on before the mission. She took off the earring of her left ear, attached the bell to the chain that hung from the earring she was working on, and put it on. Tiredness swept over her and she fell to the ground with a stifled scream. As fast as she came, she left in the same matter.

Kari slumped against the back of the Sōkyoku. Tomorrow, either way she would be present…She hid her spiritual pressure so not even the Captain Commander could know she was there and cloaked herself with an invisibility kido.

For once, Kari slept peacefully.


	8. Chapter 7 I Have a Perverted Stalker!

Chapter 7- I Have a Perverted Stalker?

Kaname opened her eyes to only close them once more. Flinging herself out of bed, Kaname looked at the empty bed next to hers.

A sad smile plagued her face as she slowly got ready for the day she wished would never come; but not everyone gets what he or she wishes.

A small case in hand, Kaname left her house and let her senses become overwhelmed with all that was happening around her.

"Nam-chan is recovering, Teddy-chan is fighting Tō and Koma-chan, Kuya-chan is fighting Ren-chan, and Kari-chan is nowhere to be found," she said to herself as she slowly walked towards Byakuya and Renji's fight.

Her right hand rested on her Zanpactou, and without realizing it, her Zanpactou started to talk to her.

"**I don't get why this is bothering you so much Kaname**," her depressed sword told her.

"I don't know either Hiaoi, but the one thing I know is that Saria is coming and I might not be able to stop her." She told him. The feather attached to Hiaoi swayed in the soft wind.

"**And why not? You haven't seen her years.**" He said. Kaname could just imagine the dark cloud surrounding his elf-like head.

"**You've gotten stronger, you'll be able to protect Kari this time. I'm sure of it.**"

"Thanks Hiaoi, but this time I might really have to borrow your power." Kaname said wistfully.

"**What are you saying? This is your power to begin with.**" Hiaoi said. Kaname turned down the alleyway where Byakuya and Renji were battling.

"Congratulations. Very admirable, that time your fang really reached me," Byakuya said as he walked away from a dying Renji.

Kaname flash-stepped next to Renji and bent down to take his pulse. Her own was beating fast as she started to recall many different past memories.

All of a sudden, Kaname felt a familiar spiritual pressure. "Can you heal him for me Rits-chan, I'm no good at healing." she whispered.

Unohana gave her a soft smile and waved her hand in assent, knowing how Kaname felt. Kaname smiled, said a quick thank you and left.

She slowly walked towards the Repentant Cell where she knew Gin was tormenting Rukia. That alone gave her motivation to walk faster.

Soon Gin was in sight and Rukia was on her knees crying. Kaname saw red and Gin went flying off the bridge and onto the building below. Kaname landed perfectly and started to roll her right foot.

"My Gosh he has a hard head!" she grumbled as she slightly limped towards Rukia. Lifting her off the ground, Kaname put her on her feet and brushed off the dirt that had stuck to her.

"3rd seat Kaname Kôri, you are forbidden from being near the prisoner." a guard started but was silenced by the intensity in Kaname's eyes.

Wiping away Rukia's tears, Kaname brought Rukia's head up and smiled a soft smile.

"Raise your head Kia-chan, and do not fear death, for death should be the one to fear you; if there's anything I've learned, death can't win against the wrath it will receive if it tries to take you." Kaname said as she passed Rukia and the guards.

Rukia turned to see nothing. "Just where did she go?" she thought as the guards lead her to her death.

Once on top the Repentance cell, Kaname sat down and watched Rukia descend to the Sôkyoku.

A black cat sat beside her, watching the same scene unfold.

"It's been some time Yoruichi…" Kaname said as she opened the case in her hands to find a dissembled flute.

"That it has." Yoruichi said, shifting into her human form and putting on the clothes that were set beside her.

Without looking, Kaname set up her flute and brought it to her lips.

Heat rose from the Sôkyoku as it was released. A note sounded from the flute as the Phoenix was formed. The Phoenix screeched, almost drowning out the note.

Kaname's fingers moved as she started to play "Dancing in the velvet moon" by Nana Mizuki, which only tensed the air surrounding the captains, lieutenants and Rukia.

All were aware of the music playing but only two knew who was playing it; and they were Rukia and Byakuya.

As the Sôkyoku was about to strike, Kaname let her eyes open, and a smile formed on her lips.

She ended the song as Ichigo stopped the Sôkyoku with his sword.

Rukia glanced towards the Repentance cell where thought Kaname was, but found that she was no longer there.

"She was there a second ago…" Rukia thought calmly but started for screaming at Ichigo.

Kaname flash-stepped towards Central 46, worried about the two spiritual pressures that had suddenly disappeared. Shock crossed her face as she took in the bloody mess that had become of Central 46.

She raced down the stairs to find another bloody mess, but this time of Captain Histugaya's and Momo's blood. Her eyes went wide as she slowly backed up into a wall; what she thought was a wall, anyways, 'till it started to speak.

"Kaname? What are you doing down here?" Aizen asked as his hand slowly went to his Zanpakutō. Kaname growled and slammed her own hand on his so he couldn't pull out his sword. Aizen's eyes narrowed, as he couldn't move him arm.

"What are YOU doing here? You're supposed to be dead." She spat as she confirmed her suspicions of him.

Minutes passed as the two stared at each other.

Kaname's eyes kept darting to her wounded friends but her grip never faltered.

"Gin." Aizen said all of a sudden and Kaname let go just in time as Gin's sword and extended towards her face. Tôsen appeared behind her and the 3 men boxed her in. They all grinned creepily. "Like perverts." Kaname thought. *sweat drop*

"Now how to get out of here?" Kaname said as she stood to her full height.

"Now who said you getting out of here?" Tôsen asked as he closed in a bit more.

"Me!" Kaname said as she flash-stepped behind Tôsen. The men were shocked, to say the least.

Tôsen swung his sword to hit Kaname put missed as she simply stepped back to avoid the blow. As quickly as she could, Kaname slammed her foot onto his sword-hand, making him drop it with a hiss. With surprising control, she snatched the same hand she had kicked and held it in the air.

Gin ran forward with his sword raised, intent on cutting her but was rewarded with a kick to the sternum, which winded him immediately. Kaname turned in a 360 and brought Tôsen's hand down in a swift movement, which made him flip onto the ground.

Kaname realized that her true instincts were taking over and not the "instincts" she had built up during her time in the soul society. Hoping they wouldn't realize it, she headed to the door but came face to face with Aizen himself. He leered at her.

"You're interesting Kaname, to be able to hold off two captains when you're only a 3rd seat." Aizen whispered in her ear as his sword went through her stomach.

She looked down at the blood pouring out from her gut, and gave him her most intense glare before falling to the ground.

Tôsen got up and swiftly left the room, leaving only Aizen and Gin in the room.

"Let's go Gin." Aizen said but was faced with Unohana and Isane.

Kaname's eyes opened as she watched the scenario before her. "I think the best invention ever was Ketchup." she thought as she glanced over her Ketchup-stained shihakushô. "Though it will take a while get these stains out…well, it's for Kia-chan." She thought grinning.

Aizen, Gin, Unohana, nor Isane noticed her moving.

After Aizen had explained his trick and his sword's ability, he left with Gin trailing him.

"Traitor!" Isane growled.

"Isane, please use Bakudô 77 and tell everyone of Aizen's plans." Unohana requested, attending to the Captain of Squad 10's wounds.

"Yes ma'am" Isane said as she began.

Kaname sat up and scooted herself over to Unohana.

"I'm sorry Rits-chan, if I was better at healing kidô, I'd help. Too bad I'm only violent." Kaname sniffed. Unohana jumped at Kaname's voice.

"KANAME! Please lay down, that wound is bleeding profusely!" Unohana ordered.

Kaname started to giggle, "What are you talking about Rits-chan?"

Kaname opened the top of her shihakushô, showing Unohana perfect but slightly scared skin, no cuts or stabs; only the remains on several Ketchup packages taped to her skin.

Taking off her tops she gave them to Unohana, leaving herself in her bra.

"Use it to dress their wounds," she said with seriousness in her eyes.

"Where are you going?" Unohana asked Kaname as she started on her work.

Kaname smiled as she placed her hand on her Zanpakutō.

"Rits-chan, you should know me by now; I'm going to fight," She said, smiling slightly as she disappeared in front of her eyes.

Kaname flash-stepped as fast as she could back to the last place she wanted to go; the Sôkyoku.

Along the short way, she ripped the Ketchup packages off her bare skin. "Ouch!" She growled. "Note to self; no more using extra-sticky tape."

In a few instants, she was at the location. She saw blood on the ground, trailing off the side. "Kuya-chan." She whispered.

A quick movement caught her eye and she whirled around, seeing Aizen holding Rukia by the neck, her feet dangling a foot off the ground. She saw him reach into Rukia and pull out a glowing sphere. "The Hōgyoku" she thought. She leaned forward slightly and caught Rukia just as Aizen dropped her. She flipped, landing on her back with Rukia on top of her, hugging her tightly.

Rukia's eyes widened. "Kaname. What are you doing here? And…what happened to your UNIFORM?"

Kaname glanced down at herself. "Oh…well, Rits-chan needed it more than I did. But, if it's a problem…" She reached over and ripped the some fabric off of Rukia's white robe. She tied it around her chest; it was like a makeshift bandage.

"Better?" She grinned. Rukia nodded slowly. Kaname turned to Renji, who was half-dead on the ground. "Poor Ren-chan…always losing. Get up, you loser and get Kia-chan out of here!" When Renji didn't respond, she turned to Ichigo, who was also a bloody mess on the ground. "Go-chan! What's with the Ketchup? Ketchup and strawberries don't mix! Instead of lying there, get up and pick up those two and GO! Geez, Go-chan, live up to your name!"

Ichigo barely lifted up his head. "What the hell? Where did you get that name from? And this is blood, you idiot! Are you some kind of Yachiru from hell?"

Kaname grinned. "Nope. But I am here to stop these three meanies. One of them even stabbed me…too bad his Zanpakutō was DULL."

She winked at Aizen, who grimaced back. Gin smiled his usual creepy grin. "Well, well, doesn't she have a fiery spirit. No wonder he likes her…"

Kaname's eyes widened. "WUT?" She covered her chest and curled up into a ball, yelling, "Sorry Nam-chan! I didn't do anything, honest! He's just a PERVERT!"

Tōsen looked annoyed. "How noisy. What are we going to do with her?"

Kaname straightened up. "I do recall beating you guys already." She crossed her arms cockily.

Aizen eye's narrowed. "I do recall stabbing you and you bleeding all over the floor."

Gin chimed in. "Yes. And there's still some blood on your stomach. Care to explain that?"

Kaname looked down and swiped her finger across the red stuff. She sniffed it and licked it off. Smiling, she started to squeal. Watching their disgusted faces, she explained, quite annoyed, "It's Ketchup, you idiots. Haven't you ever heard of it? I thought you guys were SMART…"

Aizen smiled and slowly approached Kaname. Kaname stepped back, protecting Rukia, who was still behind her. She glanced at the glowing sphere in his hand. An evil grin spread across her face as she flash-stepped so fast that nobody saw her; not even when she was sitting on Aizen's head.

She playfully snatched the Hōgyoku, twirling it between her fingers. As she flash-stepped onto Gin's head, pulling some of his hair out, and onto Tosen's head, knocking his glasses off, she giggled and ended up on the destroyed Sôkyoku. She sat there, giggling happily and twirling the dangerous glowing sphere between her fingers.

All the men stared at her amazed. Rukia just laughed. Renji managed to utter, "What is she?"

Aizen's eyes flashed. "Kaname. Bring that back here or I'll…I'll kill Rukia! And I'll find Kari too."

Before he even had time to smirk, Kaname's jade green eyes were flaring in front of his, her fingers clutching his neck so hard that the skin was turning purple. Her eyes were hard, her face was dark and she barely managed to say, "Don't you EVER say that again or I will hunt you down and send you to hell myself."

Aizen blinked; it was the most surprise he ever showed. He pushed at Kaname, sending her back but she didn't resist. She still had the Hōgyoku and she was going to keep it.

Aizen looked at her and started once more. "Come on, Kaname. Give it back."

Kaname just laughed. She held up the Hōgyoku, her fingers tightening until little fissures began to show. She then made a big show of opening her mouth and slowly bringing the sphere to her mouth. She only stopped once she saw a black-haired figure standing under her, as she was once again on top the Sôkyoku.

She brought the Hōgyoku back down and saw Gin's sword rush towards Rukia. She flash-stepped towards them. Right before she reached her, in that brief instant, she felt herself get pushed aside a few centimetres. She narrowly missed getting hit by the sword but still heard the sound of the sword hitting flesh. She turned, already tearing up as she saw Kuya-chan standing there, Gin's sword stuck in him.

"You idiot!" She screamed. "DO YOU REALLY THINK I COULDN'T STOP HIS ZANPAKUTO?" She lifted her foot and softly kicked his face.

Rukia whispered, "Oh no! Brother!" As Kaname looked at her, she felt the Hōgyoku get pulled from her grasp. She whirled around, her eyes flashing as she saw the Hōgyoku in Aizen's hands.

Kūkaku fell from the sky along with Jidanbō, making a flashy entrance. Kaname took that split-second opportunity to flash-step away, seeing how Aizen was looking up. She thought she had got away when she felt Aizen grip her spine. She didn't dare move because she knew he could snap her spine in a single instant.

The rest of the 13 Court Guard Squads fell from the sky. Matsumoto had Gin in her grasp, Shūhei had Tōsen captured and Yoruichi with Soifon had Aizen as well.

Yoruichi's eyes narrowed as she saw Aizen's hand on Kaname's spine. She manoeuvred around Kaname, holding onto Aizen's sword. Soifon had her Zanpakutō at his throat.

Yoruichi spoke quietly. "Don't do it. If you move so much as a single muscle…"

"We'll cut your head off." Soifon finished for her.

Kaname grinned but still didn't move. Yoruichi's brow furrowed as she tried to think of a way to get Kaname out of this mess.

Soifon whispered in her ear, "Just leave her! She's not worth Aizen getting away."

Yoruichi gave her such a glare that Soifon would have nightmares for weeks. "She is worth it! She's one of the two that taught me flash-step and martial arts!"

Kaname grinned. "Yes, I loved having you as my student. And don't forget the pranks we would pull on Kisuke!"

Aizen's eyes widened slightly as Soifon let out a gasp. "Taught her flash-step?" He thought. "Hmm. She's even more interesting than I thought."

Aizen looked at Yoruichi as he said, "Sorry to do this but the time has come."

Yoruichi's eyes widened as she yelled to Soifon, "Get away!"

A bright yellow light enveloped all three of the traitors, along with poor Kaname. "Noes! I don't want to go with the pervert! Leave me alone! Kuya-chan, Ren-chan, Go-chan, Puppy-chan, Yoruichi, SOMEONE! Get me outta here!"

She sniffed and then re-thought her words. Her eyes widened, as she screamed, "Not someone! No! I take it back!" She turned to her captor. "If you want to live, you should let me go, before…"

She glanced down and saw a black-haired figure slowly walk up to the Negación. "Shoot. Too late."

Aizen laughed, tightening his grip. "Like it or not, you're coming with me, Kaname."

A creepy voice followed by a violent hand appeared. "Not if I have anything to do with it. Kari would be mad if she found out, after all." A disturbing laugh followed this statement.

And Kaname found herself crashing to the ground.


	9. Chapter 8 Slashed Promises

Chapter 8 – Slashed Promises

The Captain Commander and the rest of the present Soul Society was off to one side facing the Sôkyoku with Ichigo and the others. Aizen, Gin and Tōsen were facing the Soul Society and neither side were watching each other; instead they were watching the scene in front of them.

The smoke cleared to see Kaname on her knees; her eyes were narrowed as she looked at a black-haired woman. Blood dripped off the woman's right hands' fingers, slowly making a pool of it below.

"Saria!" Kaname softly growled out as she got to her feet. Saria smiled as she licked her fingers of the blood.

"Kaname!" Saria mocked just as loud, her grey eyes seemed as if it were staring into your soul. Her voice sounded just like Kari's, but dripped of bloodthirstiness.

"It's so nice to see you! How long has it been since I've really seen you? Maybe about 5…" Saria never finished, as she had to dodge a cross to the face.

"Tch, that's not very nice Kaname. You could have at least let me finish." She said, dodging multiple punches and kicks to the face.

"KANAME! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING KARI!" Ukitake yelled, sending Rangiku, Izuru, and Shūhei to stop her.

Rangiku had Kaname in a chokehold, while Izuru and Shūhei had her arms.

"Sorry, but I can't forgive her." Kaname whispered as she let out just enough of her reiatsu for the 3 lieutenants to drop down. The captains gasped at the amount that poured out, not really knowing that with all her reiatsu out, she could easily knock out the entire captain population with few exceptions.

"Oh? Getting serious?" Saria said as she walked towards Kaname. Kaname just stood there, concealing her reiatsu once more.

Once in range, Kaname's elbow flew out and hit Saria in the jaw. A loud crack was heard, and another followed as Saria popped her jaw back into place.

"Kaname what's wrong with you!" Rukia yelled as she ran forward but was held back by Yoruichi.

"That hurt Kaname, why would you hit your own best friend?" Saria chuckled loudly.

"You're not Kari!" Kaname yelled, going in for another punch. Saria grabbed Kaname's fist and threw it without any effort, sending her flying.

"You're no fun Kaname! I mean, when do I ever get to come and play?" Saria asked as she stretched.

"play…Play…PLay…PLAy…PLAY!" Kaname said starting in whispers and ending up yelling. " You freakin cut off Kari's arm the last time you PLAYED!" Kaname spat, coming back at Saria and performed a roundhouse to her side, but was blocked.

"What?" Rukia whispered, remembering why she couldn't see Kari's entire tattoo.

"Well, that was because my opponent was too weak and that was the only way that I could make the fight more interesting." Saria said with a smirk.

Kaname pulled out her sword and went to cut Saria, but Saria grabbed the blade.

"If you're not Kari Kurotsuki, who are you?" The Captain Commander asked with intensity in his eyes.

"The name is Saria, I'm Kari's multiple personality." She grinned, grabbing the Zanpakutō hanging on her back; she deflected another blow done by Kaname.

Everyone's faces were of pure shock at this information.

"And Kaname, this is my body too, not just Kari's so I can do what I want." Saria said seriousness dripping from her words as the wind and a storm started to brew.

Kaname gave an angry growl as she cut Saria's neck. Saria had wanted to block the blow but Kaname's sword snapped the Zanpakutō she held, having the tip cut her. Now an angry red line went from Saria's neck to her left shoulder, also cutting the strap that held the glove of her left arm. With a small smirk, Saria removed the top to her shihakushô, and removing the strap that secures the glove to her arm.

The glove fell to the ground and all that replaced it was metal. A metal both Kaname and Saria knew was impossible to cut.

"So, Kaname… how does it feel to cut the flesh that your best friend owns." Saria crackled. Kaname's eyes widened as she dropped to the ground, realising what she did.

Kaname started to weep into her hands as past memories flooded into her mind. Saria ditched the broken Zanpakutō that belonged to Kari, mumbling something about it being dirt and picked Kaname up by her throat. Raising her high, Saria started to question her.

"Where is MY Zanpakutō?" She said. She felt cold on her neck and glanced to see Aizen's sword at her neck.

"Release her." Aizen ordered quietly. Saria's eyebrow went up in question. Then a thought came to mind. Throwing Kaname towards the other side of the cliff, she faced Aizen with a glimmer of playfulness in her eyes.

"Now that is just gross." Saria chuckled but soon came to a hysterical laughter; so bad she was on the ground. She heard coughing and knew Kaname was going to soon come towards her.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Renji yelled as he raised his sword and ran towards Saria. When in range, Saria kicked him in the gut, sending him flying back the way he came.

"Anyway, what I was saying before, that is just gross!" Saria giggled once more. "I mean, you're how old?"

Aizen slashed his sword, trying to hit her but missing as she had flash-stepped behind him.

"Kaname could be arrested for having a relationship with someone so much younger than herself." She laughed. Aizen glared at her questionably.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Saria once again started to laugh.

"If you're about, let's say, 300 years old, and Kaname is 3017 years old…that would make a 2717 year difference." Saria chuckled.

Aizen's eyes widened slightly and Kaname leapt in the air, drop-kicking Saria. "That was a secret, Saria!"

On the ground, Saria laughed, wiping blood from her mouth. "Well, you are old!"

Kaname screamed, "Yeah, well you're ancient! You're a year older than me, freak!"

Saria grinned. "Well, I AM your best friend." She grabbed Kaname's ankle and threw her over her shoulder.

"And it's only ten months!" Saria yelled. Kaname, who had crashed into the ground, got up slowly. Saria couldn't see her eyes but posed the question again.

"Where is MY Zanpakuto? C'mon, Kaname, you know how much it sucks to use someone else's second-hand sword. I want MINE."

Lightning started crackling all around Kaname. The wind started howling as her dark red hair started flying. Kaname lifted her burning green eyes and said in a low voice, "You'll never find it. I sealed it somewhere you'll never think of."

The onlookers were all buzzing as they watched the scene unfold. Aizen, still off to the side onlooking the scene, watched with great interest.

As for the rest of the shinigami, many of them had tried to join the fight, but the Captain Commander had quietly ordered everyone to stand down. "It's their fight. Leave them."

Meanwhile, Saria was trying to stare Kaname down. "Somewhere I won't realize…somewhere I won't realize…it has to be somewhere you'd be able to get to if something happened…it has to be in something not living…" Her stare transferred to Kari's broken Zanpakuto.

"It can't be in a Zanpakuto since it's still living…so it has to be somewhere nearby on one of us. Now, what can it be in that's big enough to hold it and it can be still freely used?"

Kaname glared at her. "Even if you did know where it is, you couldn't unseal it!"

Saria smirked. "Wanna bet?" She clapped her hands, twisted them and brought out her sword, yellow light enveloping it.

Kaname's eyes burned even brighter and she shifted into her battle stance.

Saria laughed maniacally as she swung her sword around with her right hand. Her Zanpakuto was white stained with red dots. It resembled Kari's except for the color.

Kaname put her Zanpakuto away but kept her battle stance; she had her knees bent and her body was facing the crowd. One hand was on her sheath of her Zanpakuto while the other held the pommel.

Saria, laughing wildly, walked towards Kaname with a wicked smile on her face, humming a song. Kaname realized it was "Lose Control" by Evanescence. Her grip on her pommel tightened as she heard Kari's voice.

"Can we play the game your way? Can I really lose control?" Saria whispered. Kaname barely heard her before the deafening sound of metal against metal sounded.

Saria was grinning as she and Kaname exchanged blows. After a few seconds, Saria found an opening and kicked Kaname in the chest, sending her a few feet away.

Kaname went with the flow, landing on one foot, coming back with momentum, flipping to gather more momentum and to travel faster so to give a thrust to Saria's head from above.

Saria spun out of the way and, with the left foot, from the momentum of the spin, tried to kick Kaname.

Kaname was low that the kick passed over her head so she rammed her elbow in Saria's tibia and broke it.

Saria tried not to show the pain. She forced a laugh. "Well, Kaname, how could you do that to your best friend? Kari's going to feel that when she wakes up. Maybe I should let her out right now to see her sweet little friend trying to destroy her."

Kaname bit her lip and lightning shot Saria's way. As Kaname hesitated, Saria slashed out with her Zanpakuto and cut Kaname on her right hip.

Kaname gasped as blood dripped from her hip. She gave Saria a death glare. "You…slashed my promise." She said in a low voice. She pulled the cloth away from her wound and wiped away the blood. Everyone gasped.

Carved into her skin was "Keep the Secret, Even in Death". Yoruichi's eyes widened in acknowledgement as she realized why, no matter what situation the women were in; they never used their full strength.

Saria smirked. "Oh, I slashed your precious secret, boo hoo. I don't get why you guys even promised that! If it were up to me, I would have said screw it all! Why keep such power hidden in yourselves for all these years? Why stay as squad members when you could easily take over the Soul Society single-handed?"

Kaname looked up. "Because I promised Kari I would. And why would I do such a stupid thing when I can enjoy my afterlife doing what I love with my best friend? Why would I give up the stupid people around me that drive me crazy but I love them anyways? Why would I give up pranks, practice and laughter? WHY WOULD I BECOME LIKE YOU?" Kaname screamed.

Saria shook her head. "You're a fool. We were trained as assassins in the world of the living, we live to fight and kill. You have such power…and you don't use it? I'll force you to use it! To show your true power, I'll take the life of the one you love!"

Saria pointed to Renji Abarai, who looked so confused that Kaname almost laughed. "Who? Me?" He asked, his face getting pink.

Saria laughed sarcastically. "Oh, how cute! Little pineapple didn't know! Kaname, I thought you'd be a little more assertive and TAKE what you wanted. Well, at least I'm lucky enough to have a man who knows I love him! I can smell him in the air! Too bad he had to be pulled back into that Strawberry!" Saria glared at Ichigo.

"Damn you Shirosaki! Why are you so weak? Even though you've been passed down through the Kurosaki bloodline." Saria said.

Kaname allowed a smile to creep onto her face. "You're in love with Strawberry?"

Saria wheeled around. "No! His HOLLOW!"

Kaname's smile disappeared. "I can't forgive you for threatening Ren-chan. Or anyone else. I'll grant your wish."

Kaname switched her hold on her Zanpakuto and disappeared from sight. Saria's eyes widened as she barely dodged a strike that was meant to kill her.

"Now you're speaking my language." she smiled as she blocked another.

Kaname ran behind Saria and stood back to back with her, her hand still in the same hold. Her eyes looked so alive, they shined.

Saria smiled as she recognized what Kaname was trying to accomplish with being back to back with her. With precision, Saria hooked her broken leg with Kaname's right and leaned on Kaname's left side.

It caught Kaname by surprise and she fell. Saria fell on Kaname, trapping her on the ground.

"KANAME!" Rukia yelled in concern but was taken back when Kaname gave Saria a head butt, stunning her. Kaname then rolled over; grabbing her dropped sword, she brought it down on Saria's head.

Saria rolled out of the way and then did a kick up with one foot, to get back on her only working leg.

"Let's take this up a notch, no?" Saria asked, wind started to whip around her body.

Saria took her Zanpakuto in her left hand and Kaname froze.

Saria bit into her right thumb till it started to bleed. Moving her zanpakuto so its tip was facing upwards she let the blood from her finger drip onto it.

"Scream for blood, Kazesora"

The sword pulsated and the wind blew uncontrollably around her. Her sword turned silver and grew. Black chains wrapped themselves around Saria's left arm and locked together.

Saria placed her broadsword in the ground and glared at Kaname with one of those 'what are you waiting for?' glares.

Kaname wasted no time in thinking, "I have to catch her off-guard" and attacked right away. Saria frowned; she whipped out the chains around her arms and caught Kaname's leg. With a smile, she threw Kaname into the remaining Sokyoku.

"I have no chance if I don't change into my Shikai… up for it Hiaoi?" She asked her Zanpakuto as she laid her sword on her shoulder.

"**Like always.**" Hiaoi said. Kaname closed her eyes and allowed herself a small smile.

"**Strike with the wind Hiaoi!**" Kaname screamed.

Lightning struck her dead centre and everyone had to shield their eyes, with the exception of Saria.

Once the dust cleared, everyone could see that Kaname now held a sabre; pointing it at Saria, she disappeared once more.

Swiftly, Saria took her broadsword from the ground and blocked Kaname's blows; but she was slowly being pushed back. The crowd watched as Saria grew weaker.

"Impossible!" The Captain Commander whispered after closely observing them.

Shunsui looked at the Captain Commander in surprise. "What do you mean Gramps?" he asked. The Captain Commander stared at the sight in front of him.

"Hiaoi, the Zanpakuto of the Soul Society King's right hand. Kazesora; one of the two Zanpakutos of his left hand. For some odd reason, they have the Soul Society King's Zanpakutos. They are at the top of the forbidden Zanpakuto list. Just who are these women?" He asked in a shushed tone, knowing that Kaname would scream at him for using the word "woman".

Kaname's eyebrow twitched as she heard the Captain Commander speak but she concentrated on Saria. Lighting flashed all around the two as they fought. Everyone that was present knew Kaname was getting annoyed with Saria's smile.

"That's it!" Kaname declared after they had been manipulating each other's energy and redirecting it towards each other for some time.

"CHARGE!" she yelled, and lightning hit the sabre. Sparks flew from it, clearly saying that it was charged with a lot of electricity. Without warning, Saria ditched her weapons and body-checked Kaname in the side. Kaname recovered, glowering at Saria.

"Aizen-sama, I believe that's enough watching for one day. We have to go." Tōsen said to the brown-haired man. With a reluctant nod, another Negación appeared to bring them to their new home.

"Your boyfriend's leaving?" Saria cackled as she hopped to the side to narrowly miss a beam of electricity aimed right for her.

"He's not my boyfriend." Kaname said, seriousness leaking out from her voice. She attacked Saria with even more energy than before. Aizen looked at her once more.

"As much as a mystery they are, you can't say they are not interesting, especially Kaname; it almost seems as if she can control the lightning." Aizen told his minions as they disappeared.

The crowd stopped to stare at Aizen leaving; more than a few oaths were cursed. Even Kaname stopped to give Aizen another death glare; to which he only smiled and winked.

All of a sudden, Saria stopped fighting and fell to the ground. Kaname, who was poised to strike, paused, unsure if Saria was faking or not.

Everyone was surprised, to say the least. Saria's stomach started to contract wildly and her muscles screamed. She kept her screams in her throat even though they wanted to come meet everyone very badly.

She started to cough, and cough, till blood was everywhere. She heaved and only blood came out.

Kaname dropped her charged sword and rushed to Saria's side.

"Damn it, seems like Kari really hasn't used this Kung Fu," Saria whispered.

"You think I lied when I said that we keep the secret?" Kaname growled. "You overexerted Kari's body and now you puking and coughing up blood. Do you want to kill her?"

"Well, you know how I am; man this hurts." Saria growled. She smiled a true smile and gripped Kaname's shoulder hard.

"You've truly grown in power Kaname; now I can leave Kari in your hands. I've done all this for her so when you tell her about me, don't forget to tell her how much I did for her." Saria joked but Kaname knew some of it was true. A lonely tear escaped Kaname's eye.

"I'll meet you again in who knows how long; if I'm lucky, another 500 years. Later." She said as she fell asleep, just like that.

Kaname took a deep breath, wiped the blood off Kari's face and brushed some of her black hair aside; she looked concerned as she put her fingers to Kari's neck, trying to find her pulse. Her eyes widened.

"**UNOHANA!"**


	10. Chapter 9 Shackles Snapped, Covers Flew

**Chapter 9- Shackles Snapped, Covers Flew and Kari Left the Building**

Kari was running in total darkness. The only thing she could see was seven flash backs of when she was alive…and when she was dead.

She tripped, falling on her face, and the flash backs started once more.

Flash back

Kari and Kaname as kids, running into the forest, climbing trees until they were caught by a concerned adult. Seven years old and already best friends.

**Blink**

The two best friends were now training with wooden swords, circling each other in a big dojo. Kaname was winning but Kari wasn't giving up anytime soon. Eight years old and their friendship was only growing.

**Blink**

The best friends laughed themselves silly as their elder walked out with bubblegum pink hair and "I'm stupid" written on his chest. The best friends were now 16 and Kaname had long surpassed Kari in height…and Kari wasn't happy about it, still being 5'5.

**Blink**

Kaname held onto Kari's right hand as one of their most trusted friends, their ever-present elder, started attaching her veins and tendons into her new metal arm.

**Blink**

Kaname and Kari looked up at the orange sky and watched the sakura petals flutter down as they held hands, blood seeping out of their wounds and mingling together, a promise. As they closed their eyes for the last time, Seth, their ever-present elder, wept and made a promise that he'd always be there for them. Kaname tried to grin and said, "Say bye to Alice for me."

**Blink**

2000 years after death, Kari gloomily walked around a hut, only to be tackled to the ground by her long-lost best friend that she hadn't seen since death.

**Blink**

A memory she didn't even know she had came into view. She heard herself saying, "You've truly grown in power Kaname; now I can leave Kari in your hands. I've done all this for her so when you tell her about me, don't forget to tell her how much I did for her." She was confused; when did this happen and why was she speaking in the third person?

No, wait. That person used "I" and "Kari" separately…what does that mean?

**Blink**

Cold, steel grey eyes stared deep into her soul.

End of flash backs

Kari woke up with a start; it was the first time she'd woken up since the incident with Aizen. She looked around and found herself alone and shackled into her bed. Looking at a chair that once had Kaname sitting in it, she knew something was wrong.

"Of course something's wrong!" Saria yelled in her head.

"Whaaaaa? WHO'S TALKING IN MY HEAD? Is it an alien? NOOOOES! Does this mean my conscience came back? Or maybe my sanity? NO, GO AWAY!" Kari screamed out loud.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT? I'm not your conscience and you're still insane. I'm just your wonderful and awesome split-personality." Saria smirked.

"Phew. I thought for a second something was wrong with me. All right, yeah, that's cool." Kari said. Then she stopped.

"Wait. I have a split-personality?" Kari asked.

Memories of the fight with Kaname and Saria flooded her mind. Anger started to rise towards her split-personality.

She started screaming at Saria in her head…but stopped because she had a massive headache.

"Instead of worrying about me, shouldn't you be worrying about Kaname? Right now, she's with the Captain Commander, alone, and they're deciding both your fate."

Shackles snapped, covers flew and Kari left the building.

O_O

Kaname rolled her eyes as the Captain Commander babbled on about what a heinous crime she and Kari had committed, what destruction and disturbance they had caused, etc. She kept tapping her foot impatiently as she stood there, shackled. She also kept looking at the time.

Finally, Yamamoto asked her, annoyed, "I'm sorry, is there something you'd rather be doing? An appointment or a lunch date or something? SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR LIFE?"

Kaname looked at him impassively, hearing Yachiru giggle. "I have a right to remain silent, right?"

Yachiru started laughing, which caused Kaname to giggle, which led to Shunsei laughing hard, since it was the kind of thing he'd say. The Captain Commander shushed them all with a tap of his cane.

"Now, getting back to the business of your fate. Such behaviour deserves punishment by death, since you kept this secret from the whole Soul Society and are therefore too dangerous to live."

Kaname glowered at him. "You tell Kari…and I will kill you." She said it so seriously that they wondered if she had a split-personality too.

"And no, I'm just bi-polar." She said, reading their minds.

Yamamoto frowned. "Threatening the Head Commander's life? You're not helping yourself Kaname Kori. Now, before we declare you guilty, we want to hear your story. We don't want to condemn you if you're innocent." He said softly.

Kaname set her face stubbornly. "It's a secret."

Kenpachi groaned. "Oh, come on. This isn't elementary school! I want to get out of here, woman, so just do what you do best and TALK."

Kaname gave him her best death glare. "Do you think that I carved this into my skin for nothing? Don't make me hurt you."

Kenpachi laughed. "As if you could! You're shackled and you're weak! You're reiatsu isn't - "

Kenpachi Zaraki flew into the wall behind him as Kaname pulled back her foot, which had kicked him, and set Yachiru down, who had jumped into her arms.

Kaname grinned and clapped her hands. "Oh yeah! YOU WEREN'T THERE! You know, when me and Kari were assassins! When we were alive!" Suddenly she clapped her hands over her mouth and sheepishly looked down.

Everyone's eyes widened in surprise, hoping they had misheard her the first time.

Yoruichi said thoughtfully, "That makes sense. After all, you have 150 lbs of weights on you."

The room was silent for a few moments. Yoruichi finally said, "Kaname, just talk, please. I don't want to see another one of my friends die."

Kenpachi slowly got up, groaning but smiling. "Come on, Kaname. I'm curious as to how you can kick me so hard with those weights."

There was a snort from behind him. "Those are baby weights compared to what we're used to." Kari smirked.

Kaname rolled her eyes. "You're late, Kari."

Kari grew serious. "Kaname, why won't you say anything? I want to know too."

**Sweat drop**

Kaname took a deep breath and plopped on the floor. "You guys might want to get comfortable. This'll take a while."

Kari flash-stepped to Kaname and sat down with her back to hers. When Kaname gave her a weird look, Kari just said, "It makes it more intense!"

Kaname closed her eyes and started. "When we were eight years old, we were already best friends. Our parents had died and left us alone. We were sent to an orphanage, if that's what it was supposed to be called. But ours was a work camp."

"Someone quickly noticed our potential and reported to their superiors. We were then sold to the school where the story truly begins."

"It was the first school that started to train children and adults with the talent. They were trying to make a new race of super-humans by training us to kill as assassins. We were sent out to kill those in power. By the time we were 14, we had taken over the place and changed its dream into a martial arts institute. Our most trusted friends became the elders while we became their leaders."

"At the age of 15, there was an attack by the assassins that had escaped when we had remoulded the school. Even though we were strong, we were struggling to defend ourselves against them because they also used to be our friends. We were caught in holds with six people holding us down at once. One of them was going to finish me off when I heard a scream."

"I suddenly felt light and when I opened my eyes, I saw red blood everywhere. I also saw Kari," Kaname turned to her, "standing there with a sword full of blood that I'd never seen before." She shut her eyes again, blocking out the gruesome memories.

"I quickly found out that because of my lack of strength, Kari had now been forced to create a different personality for herself to conceal her awakening bloodthirstiness for those who hurt me. That personality's name was Saria. And she scared me so much."

"Cruel, bloody-thirsty and Kari's complete opposite, she would come out every once in while…like a year later, when Kari was fighting off a group of bandits that were trying to steal the riches of our school. Saria came out and cut off Kari's arm to make it "more interesting"." Kaname snorted in disbelief, trying to cover up her teary eyes.

"After pretty much almost strangling her to death, I was finally able to make her go back inside Kari's mind. She's been in there for all these years…until a few weeks ago. I had a nightmare where I was talking to her. She told me she was coming out again. It couldn't be helped…but she's returned peacefully this time, knowing I can protect Kari myself."

Everyone absorbed this as Kaname bowed her head, trying not to cry. Kari placed her head on her shoulder. It was a nice moment until Kenpachi groaned, "Oh come on! That's pathetic! You would give up your bloodthirstiness for your friend? How corny."

Kari went up her sleeve on her right arm to her wrist and flicked open one of the bracelets that hugged her wrists. Hisagi gasped as he recognized the same bracelet he had. She flicked it open, took it off and threw it at Kenpachi's face while Kaname sent him flying once more with a roundhouse to the jaw.

Hisagi curled himself into a ball, waiting for the blast. When he heard Kari's voice, he looked at the smiling woman who said, "What are you doing, Puppy?"

He stammered, "But, uh, um…wasn't it supposed to explode? I have the same ones."

Kari laughed. "Silly! They don't explode. They just…"

Kenpachi got up and starting swearing. "What the hell hit my face?"

Kaname lifted up her hand. "Kari's bracelet and my foot."

Kenpachi lifted Kari's bracelet and looked questioningly at it. "How much does this weigh?" He asked, curious.

Kari grinned. Kaname laughed and said, "Only 100 pounds. That's nothing. Is it hard for you to lift, Teddy-bear-chan?"

Kenpachi ignored the new nickname. "And you wear 6 of those?"

Kari grinned. "Of course. It's almost nothing. It's called training." She turned to Kaname. "Shouldn't you take those baby weights off? Stop being lazy."

Kaname grinned. "Aww. I just wanted a break. Fine." Kaname threw the weights off without any effort and broke her shackles.

Kenpachi threw the weight back at Kari and Kari caught it with one hand. "Thank you, Teddy!" She said.

Kaname turned to Kari. "I really should get some weights too, huh?"

Kari grinned. "Yeah. You're getting fat! And then we can play catch!"

Kaname grinned evilly. "Sure…but I'm gonna kill you for calling me fat!"

Kari flash-stepped behind Yamamoto. "She's being mean again!"

The two flash-stepped all over the room, playing tag until the Captain Commander, once speechless, yelled at them to stop.

Stopping in mid-air, the two friends fell to the floor.

"Owwwww." They both exclaimed.

"This is your fault Kari!"

"Me? You're the one that said you'd kill me!"

"You called me fat!"

"It was a joke!"

"So?"

"ENOUGH!" Yamamoto roared. The two pouted and turned away from each other.

Shunsui laughed. "They sure don't look or act like assassins. Not quiet at all."

Kaname pouted more. "We never were good at that part. The only thing we were really good at was sneaking into the headmaster's room while he was there and stealing his stuff. Then we'd put it on the roof and we'd hide in a tree and laugh. Then he'd know it was us."

Kari grinned. "We've always had a laughing problem."

"IT'S CONTAGIOUS!" They yelled together. They then fell into each other, laughing.

The Captain Commander sighed and said, "This isn't worth my time. You two will be allowed to live as long as you can keep Saria under control."

There was a snort in Kari's mind. "Shut up!" she thought.

Kari nodded. Kaname turned to her with a silly look on her face. She whisper-yelled, "Hey Saria! Come out again and I'll kick your butt!"

Kari said, "She says she'll kick your before you get a chance."

Everyone stared at Kari. She giggled nervously. "What? I can hear her voice in my head now."

"OMG! Schizo!" Kaname screamed.

"I know! I thought I had a conscience in the beginning! Or worse! MY SANITY!" Kari screamed.

Kaname gasped. "NOOOOOOO!"

Kari grinned. "But it's okay. It was just Saria."

Mayuri Kurotsuchi turned to the Captain Commander and said, "May I dissect her? She's an interesting specimen."

Kari screamed and hid behind Kenpachi. She looked to her left and screamed again and ran to Shunsui.

Kaname sobbed, "Why aren't you hiding behind me? I'm supposed to protect you!"

Kari screamed, "Sorry!" and ran behind Kaname. Saria was laughing in her head so Kari punched herself in the face.

Everyone turned and stared. "She was laughing at me!" Kari whined.

Yamamoto shook his head and left, followed by Soifon and Hitsugaya, who both muttered about what a waste of time this all had been.

Rangiku ran and glomped Kari. "That was such a sad story!" Kaname backed away into Yoruichi, who was stretching and yawning. "I already knew all of that." She said.

Kari grinned. "Of course. We already told you."

They hugged and then Kari smacked her head again.

As the women stared at her, she whined, "She was making fun of me again!"

Kaname shook her head. "This'll take some time to get used to," she muttered.

"Ditto…" Kari said, rubbing her head.


	11. Chapter 10 Fur Balls, the Mysterious Lig

**Chapter 10 – Fur Balls, the Mysterious Lighter and the Scarlet Pineapple**

With everything back to normal, Kari and Kaname were forced back into their squad duties. And for some odd reason, Renji was avoiding them.

Kaname was whining, "I saved his life and this is how he repays me? HE'S SO MEAN! Stupid pineapple head…"

Kari hugged her. "Do you want to go prank someone?"

Kaname sniffed. "No thanks…I'm not in the mood."

Kari gasped. "NOOOOOOOOOES!"

Kari flash-stepped to Renji. "SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH KANAME!" She screamed.

"What? Is she okay?" Renji asked, alarmed.

"NO! She doesn't want to prank anyone!"

"Maybe she's finally grown up…" Renji tried.

"WHAT? SHE COULDN'T HAVE! I'M NOT EVEN GROWN UP YET AND I'M OLDER!" Kari sobbed.

She then turned to glare at him. "This is all your fault…" she said and started to approach him.

**Sweat drop**

"What'd I do? I haven't even seen Kaname lately!"

Renji tried to defend himself.

Kari glowered at him. "Exactly! YOU BUTT!" She stopped and then said seriously, "She really wants to see you."

Renji looked down and Kari flash-stepped away. Kaname came a second later, right behind him. He didn't even notice her until she said in his ear, "You know, you can't REALLY avoid me. I'm everywhere." And she disappeared with the wind.

Renji turned as red as his hair and looked around frantically, trying to find her. But nothing was there; she had disappeared.

Kari and Kaname were skipping along outside when Kari stopped. Her eyes went wide and she yelled, "I NEVER GOT MY STUFF!"

Kaname gasped. "Hey, we never did! You wanna go now?"

Kari grinned. "Yeah, let's skip out on duties." They both grinned and set off.

Meanwhile, Kenpachi was yelling at the top of his lungs, "WHERE IS THAT WO- I MEAN GIRL? SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO PAPERWORK!"

Yachiru pouted. "This is gonna be a boring day without Kari or Kaname."

Also meanwhile, Byakuya's eyebrow was twitching as he was asking his depressed lieutenant where Kaname was. When the pineapple mumbled his answer, Byakuya had to fight to keep his composure.

"Those two girls will be the death of me," he thought.

The girls finally reached the 80th district by mid-afternoon. They felt eyes upon them; they knew something was going to happen, especially when twelve guys surrounded them.

The guys were taunting them. "What are two lovely girls like you doing here all by yourselves? And soul reapers; you must think you're tough. Why don't you come and play with us? That'll teach you not to walk around here alone."

Kari and Kaname looked at each other and burst into laughter. The guys scowled and said, "What? You think you're too powerful for us? You're alone and you're women."

There was an audible snap as Kaname's eyebrow twitched. Kari started to laugh in a forced way. Kaname barely managed to utter, "First, you say we're alone. Then, you taunt us. Now, we can forgive idiots for those things but then you called us weak! AND! In the same sentence, from the same dirty mouth, you say women…PREPARE TO DIE!"

Kaname started to charge; Kari held her by her shihakusho's top (if you could call it that). Kaname was wriggling. "Lemme at 'im! LEMME AT 'IM!"

It was amusing for their attackers to see a very tall woman being held back by one that was so much shorter than her. They became overconfident and started to taunt them once more.

"It's just what we thought. You're just a couple of WEAK WOMEN."

Kari started to laugh. She let go of Kaname and said, "Go ahead."

Kaname stopped. "Don't you want to have some fun too?" She asked.

Kari grinned. "No, it's all right. Go ahead. I'll meet you at my house."

Kaname grinned back. "This'll only take a few seconds, after all."

The men started to yell. "How the hell will we take a few seconds to finish off?"

Kari shook her head. "Because she's the third seat of the 6th squad…and I'm the fourth seat of the 11th squad. You know…of the 13 court guard squads?"

The men all gasped and backed away. Kaname smiled reassuringly at them. She took her Zanpakuto and handed it to Kari. "I won't be needing this."

The men started yelling, "Hey, now that's damn cocky!"

Kari just grinned. "Okay. Cya." She flash-stepped away.

Kaname smiled. "Later."

And then she attacked.

A few seconds later, Kaname was sitting on a pile of corpses. Well, almost corpses. They looked dead but they were still alive. Barely.

Kaname got up, wiping some blood of her hand. She looked down at her uniform and groaned. "Aww man! That's gonna stain!"

She squared her shoulders and said, "Now, to Kari's house…where is that again?" She kicked one of the more conscious guys. "Hey! Where's Kari's house?"

The guy groaned. "How the hell should I know? She's your friend!"

Kicking him again for swearing, she set off in the direction of a vaguely familiar forest.

A few minutes later, Kaname was sobbing on the forest ground. "I'm so LOST! Where are you Kari? KARI!"

Kari stopped for a second. She listened closely and then shrugged. "I could swear that I heard Kaname just now…"

Saria chuckled. "You're going nuts, Kari."

Kari screamed at her, "I already AM nuts! I can't be more nuts! But…then…owww, my head, I'm thinking too much."

Kari was trying to open the door to her house. It was stuck. AGAIN. After several unsuccessful attempts, she thought, "Screw it" and kicked the door down. While Saria applauded her for her smartitude, Kari noticed a furry bundle on her floor. Approaching it quietly, she realized it was a wolf pup.

Awww-ing like a school girl, she put her hand out, letting it catch her scent. A little black nose poked out and approached her hand. The tinniest pink tongue darted out to lick her. As Kari awed once more, the cute little wolf bit her hand.

"OWWWWWW!" With comical tears in her eyes, Kari shook her hand like crazy, thankful that the wolf pup was not still biting it.

As the wolf let out a pitiful howl, Kari gathered it up in her arms. It fell asleep against her. She grinned, grabbed her small backpack that had been there since the day before graduation and left the house, turning back only once to look at her house.

Kaname lay on the forest floor, watching the sunlight filter through the leaves. She loved the forest; everything about it made her feel at ease.

Her ears pricked when she heard a little meow. Following the soft sound, she came to a sad sight; a baby jaguar, mewing, trying to wake up its dead mother. Kaname's eyes filled with tears as she recalled her own experience. Crawling towards it, she put out her hand, letting it sniff her scent. The little black jaguar seemed guarded.

She looked into its ice-blue eyes and had a silent conversation with it. She understood that hunters had killed its mother. She told him the same had happened to her parents. As they came to a mutual understanding, the kitten approached her.

It rubbed against her hand, mewing softly. She grinned. It then showed its sharp little teeth. She awww-ed, saying, "They're so cute!" As his teeth started to close on her finger, she pulled her hand back. "Nice try" she said. The kitty mewed again.

She then turned to the dead body; she'd have to bury it…but where? Hearing a scratching noise, she turned to see the little kitty digging under a tree. "Whatcha doing there, buddy?"

She smiled as she saw the little kitty dig a hole much bigger than itself. Shooing the kitty aside, she took a deep breath and then said, "Raikôhô!" Electricity charged through her fingertips and to the ground, sending dirt flying. Kaname coughed. As the dust settled, she saw a deep hole had formed. The little kitty sneezed behind her.

Kaname carried the dead body to the hole and lightly placed it in. The little kitty mewed once more. It then started to push dirt with its little black nose into the hole. Kaname smiled faintly, got on her hands and knees and pushed the rest of the dirt in. She patted the top of the grave, placed a lovely oak stick on top and said a silent prayer for his mother.

Whistling to the kitty, she walked out of the forest…

…And right into Kari.

They both head-butted and fell on their butts. Kaname started whining. "Kari! Why do you have to have such a hard head?"

Kari whined back. "Why do you have to be so mean?"

Kaname noticed a thick bandage wrapped around Kari's hand. She raised a single eyebrow. "Do I want to know?"

"IT BIT ME!" Kari whined, pointing at the little wolf that was wagging its tail while trying to attack the little jaguar.

Kaname laughed hard, concealing her own grazed finger. "Loser!" She yelled.

Kari started screaming. "I SAW THAT FINGER! I SAW THAT GRAZE! DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A LOSER!"

Kaname laughed so hard that she was crying. "You're a loser because it actually bit you –" She started to howl as the little jaguar bit her foot. It walked over to the wolf and they tapped paws, like they were high-fiving.

Kari fell to the ground laughing. She got up and was then knocked to the ground again by Kaname. Kaname stopped messing up Kari's hair as she realized, "WE'RE IN THE 80TH DISTRICT!"

Kari shrugged. "Yeah, and?"

Kaname gave her a pointed look. "Should we really be doing this?"

Kari conceded. "Good point."

They slyly got up, grabbed their pets and, looking around furtively, flash-stepped away.

Renji had been moping around all day, distraught that Kaname had skipped her duties. As he thought about what Kari had said and what Kaname had done for him, he grew more and more confused.

Finally, he followed Byakuya home (knowing that he and Kaname were neighbours) and, as he stood around, waiting for Kaname to come home, his feet got attacked by a little black fur ball. When its razor-sharp teeth bit his foot, he realized that this wasn't a cat; it was a jaguar!

"What the hell? Ow, get off of me, you stupid –" Renji started.

His other foot got bitten by a wolf pup. He started screaming even louder. Kaname and Kari were on the ground, laughing. He scowled at them, trying to kick the fur balls off but they were stuck on.

Kaname finally got up and pulled the pets off. "Shoo!" She said. She went over and lightly started kicking Kari. "You too!"

Kari pouted, grabbed the fur balls and went inside, leaving Kaname and Renji alone. Seconds later, Kari returned without her backpack or the pets, but with a lighter. She told Kaname she'd be back later.

Kaname tried not to smile at Renji's face. His lower lip was stuck out; he was sulking. "You've been beat within an inch of your life; I saw what you looked like after your fight with Kuya-chan. You've gotten so many sword wounds but two little pets bite you and you're upset?" She said.

Renji yelled, "One's a wolf pup and one's a freaking jaguar!"

Kaname put a finger to his lips and said, "Kuya-chan will kill you if you're too loud."

Renji's face grew scarlet. He let out an exasperated sigh and looked down at his feet, a hand on his neck. He muttered, "Why didn't you come in today?"

Kaname shrugged. "We went to Kari's house…well, she went there. I dealt with some wannabe bad-boys. It was fun 'til I got lost and couldn't find the way to Kari's house."

Renji grabbed her shoulders. "What do you mean you dealt with bad guys? Kaname, those districts are dangerous! They're not like the Seretei!"

Kaname smiled. "Thanks for worrying about me but I've lived in those districts too. I'm not that weak."

He let her go. "Really? From what district?"

Kaname smiled faintly. "79th – Kusajishi."

Renji's eyes widened. "Like Lieutenant Yachiru?"

Kaname nodded. "Yup."

Renji looked down again, unsure of what to say.

Kaname smiled sadly. "I'm sorry that you had to find out about everything by Saria and not by me. I didn't mean for you to be embarrassed. I'm sorry."

Renji looked around. "It's fine."

Kaname started to tease him. "So, Renji, do you like me? Huh? Do you?"

Renji blushed even more. "I don't!"

"Oh come on, Renji! This isn't elementary school. You can tell me."

"Well, I…"

"Just admit it."

Kaname looked up at him, a smile tugging the corner of her lips. He turned around, frustrated. "How can I say anything when you're like that?"

Kaname's eyes filled with tears. "Is it because of my age? Is that it? I'M SORRY REN-CHAN! I'm so old!" She started to run off.

He caught her hand and pulled her back. Without looking at her, he said, "It's not that."

Kaname sighed and leaned against her house. "Just tell me," she said.

Renji started, "I…" He stopped when they both heard mewing and howling from inside. The pets were at the windows, staring intently at them. Kaname rolled her eyes.

Renji blushed. "Why are they staring at us like that?" Kaname only shook her head. With a sigh, she said, "You know what? For now, this is enough." And she placed her head on his shoulder.

He turned his head towards hers, resting his chin on her red hair. Then, suddenly, Kaname got up, smashing his chin and said quietly, "Bye Ren-chan!"

She ran off…then back-tracked, kissed him on the chin apologetically and ran off again in Kari's direction yelling, "Take care of the pets!"

Byakuya yelled, "BE QUIET, ALL OF YOU!" Renji heard growling from inside. He looked up at the sky and asked, "Why me?"

Slowly, but with great bravery, he opened the door and walked into the zoo…called Kaname's house.


	12. Chapter 11 Names, Urine and Yaoifanboy

Chapter 11 – Names, Urine and Yaoi-fan-boy?

Kaname flash-stepped to Kari, who stood watching her house burn. The smoke rose into the sky and the flames burned bright. Kari's face reflected the inferno in front of her. Kaname picked up a lighter that had been dropped next to Kari. She pocketed it and stood there, waiting for Kari to wake up from her memories.

Kari closed her eyes and smiled softly. She turned away and left the sight, walking away with her back completely straight. Kaname followed and they paid no attention to the house that was completely engulfed in flames.

Instead of heading back, Kaname climbed a tree and hung in its branches, while Kari leaned against the tree, watching the bright full moon that adorned the sky. All of a sudden, Kari slapped herself.

Kaname lifted a single eyebrow in question, thinking Saria had acted up again. Kari fell to her knees and grabbed her head, screaming, "Can you believe I just burned a 2000 year old building? It's Soul Society history!"

Kaname just shrugged. "And since when have you ever cared about rules before?"

Kari yelled back, "Who said it was a rule? I love history!"

Kaname looked up at the moon. Dark clouds started rolling across the sky, blocking out the moonlight.

Kaname shook her head. "You love history, huh? Well, how about we go relive our history for a couple of days?"

Kari looked at her. "Yeah…it's about time, huh?"

Kaname looked at the darkened sky once more. "Yeah. It sure is."

And as the wind blew, they were gone.

"What? Did I hear wrong? Did you rascals just ask me permission?" the Captain Commander asked, stunned.

Kaname nodded. Kari crossed her arms over her chest. "So?" she asked, "can we go?"

The Captain Commander thought for a few moments. "I suppose I don't even really have a choice, do I? I know you'll go even if I say no. So go, 3rd seat Kaname Kori and 4th seat Kari Kurotsuki. Go to the human world for three days and then return immediately, for I will have another mission for you." He tapped his cane and left.

Kari's and Kaname's ear perked up. "We'll be sure to come back then, won't we Kari?" Kaname asked.  
"If you don't get lost," Kari snickered. She got a punch in the face that sent her flying into the doorway as a response. The guards had already escaped the proximity when the Diabolical Duo had first entered so Kari only hit a wall.

After Kari whined for a bit, they set off to their respectful squads and reported their absence to their captains.  
Byakuya gave Kaname a stern look, which she ignored and kissed him on the cheek, saying, "Later, Kuya-chan!"

Renji, who was watching, was jealous when he only got a quick hug and watched Kaname go. But Kaname stopped at the door and looked back.

"Where are the pets? Did you just leave them at my house?"

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. "He was at your house?"

Kaname grinned. "Yeah. He stalked me. Anyways, Ren-chan?"

Renji looked away. "When they almost killed me, I left. But I left them food and stuff so they should be fine."

Kaname gave him an anguished look. "You know they're jaguar and wolf pups, right? Oh, never mind." She left in a hurry.

Byakuya gave Renji a look. "We need to talk..."

While Kaname got a simple look, Kari got a simple "Whatever" from Kenpachi. However, Yachiru threw a fit yelling, "YOU AND KANAME DITCHED ME YESTERDAY AND IT WAS SO BORING! I HAD TO PRANK CUE-BALL MYSELF! AND NOW YOU'RE LEAVING FOR THREE DAYS? YOU AND KANAME ARE SO MEAN!"

Kari compensated by saying, "We'll bring more artillery from the human world. They have stores that sell pranks, already made and everything."  
Yachiru brightened and told her, "Make sure to buy me candy. Or else." Kari grinned. Kenpachi snorted in disbelief.

Ikkaku and Yumichika, who were eavesdropping, protested, "What about us?"

Kari simply punched Ikkaku in the face and pinched Yumichika's cheek. She flash-stepped away.

The women met at Kaname's house, where they picked up snacks and pets who thankfully had not destroyed the house.

When they reached the Seikomon, Mayuri was already waiting with two hell butterflies. Kaname visibly shuddered and Kari tried to hide behind her but Kaname pushed her away. Mayuri said in his creepy voice that was meant for Kari, "Come back soon. My operating table will be waiting…"

D:

Bolt

And they were gone.

The women fell from the sky and almost hit Urahara's shop. If it weren't for Kaname's cat-like reflexes, she and her pet would have crashed to the ground.

But Kari's reflexes weren't as sharp. She fell to the ground, almost crushing her pet. Kaname landed on the roof with her jaguar, laughing her head off at Kari, who was lying in the dust with her shocked wolf pup.

Once Kari had whined enough for the occasion, they both tried the front door. It was locked. It seemed as if no one was home so the women did what they do best; they snuck in through the impossibly small window.

Once inside, they found their gigai, put them on and Kaname found an extra Urahara hat lying in the storage room.

As the women posed for each other, Kari surveyed Kaname's new (stolen) hat. "Niiiiiiiiice!"

Kaname grinned. "Hey, what's an outfit without a stolen hat?"

Kari grinned. "My outfit."

Kaname grinned too. "Of course. Let's go!"

And, picking up their pets, they left the shop.

Kaname and Kari were walking towards the park, where they had sensed strong reiastu, including Ichigo's, Urahara's and Yoruichi's. On the way, however, they were not discussing any tactics or hypotheses as to whom they were fighting. They were talking about what to name their pets.

They had already rejected quite a few names like "Kari Jr", "Wolfie", "Kaname Rocks", "Jaguar" or "Bowzer". They also rejected "Blackie" since they would be confused as to which black pet was being referred to.

As they reached the sidelines of the park, Kaname exclaimed loudly, "HEY! Are they boys or girls?"

Kari stopped. "Oh yeah…I guess we should check."

They glanced at their pets. They were both looking at their owners with innocent, shining eyes. Kaname whispered, "On 3…"

"3!" Kari yelled. They tackled the pets and held them up so they could check their genders. After getting swiped in the face (and getting a Hisagi-like cut),

Kaname put her jaguar down. "He's a guy," she announced.

Kari yelled "Same!" but in a high-pitched voice that rivalled Kaname's. It was because she got bitten. Again.

Their pets jumped playfully on each other, biting each other's ears and tails. Kaname and Kari watched proudly. "So…whatcha gonna name him?" Kaname asked as they walked onto the field, oblivious of the battle going on around them. They stood between the two Arrancar, not even hearing the laughter coming from their old friends.

"Hmmm…Killua." Kari said.

"Cool! Hmm…I think I'll call mine…Kieran. Means "little dark one"" Kaname winked.

"AWESOME! EPIC HIGH-FIVE!" The women yelled. As they high-fived, a supersonic blast exploded around them. The wind pushed everyone back; even the Arrancar.

Everyone's eyes widened, except for Urahara and Yoruichi, who just laughed at the Diabolical Duo. Killua started sniffing Ulquiorra's foot and Ulquiorra said, "Go away, trash."

With a glare, Killua peed on Ulquiorra's leg and then pounced into Kari's arms. The women nodded approvingly. "Attaboy!"

Kieran swiped at Yammy's already bruised face and drew blood. He then did a flip into Kaname's arms. "Attaboy, Kieran! Just like Mommy and Auntie taught you!"

Yoruichi and Urahara just stared in shock but Ulquiorra got extremely annoyed. He couldn't help but be interested though. Shaking the urine from his leg, he inspected the womens' gigai. How did they make so much impact in gigai? And they seem familiar…

"DON'T CALL US WOMEN, FREAK!" Kari yelled.

"Yeah!" Kaname said. Their pets nodded in agreement.

Yammy started screaming at them and charged at Kaname, who simply narrowed her eyes, let out some spiritual pressure and watched him drop faster than the lieutenants.

"Interesting…" Ulquiorra said. 'I wonder how much spiritual pressure they're concealing under those gigai?' he thought.

"More than Aizen." Kari whispered in his ear, crossing her arms and looking at him through the corner of her eye.

Ulquiorra barely glanced at her. "Impossible.

In the meantime, Yammy was about to rampage. Kaname had stopped releasing spiritual pressure so he was able to get up. He swung his fist towards Kaname with extreme power.

Urahara yelled, "Look out Kaname!" and moved towards her to save her.

Kaname kicked Urahara in the stomach, sending him flying and using that energy to move back from the punch. She then smashed both her forearms into Yammy's forearm, directly hitting a nerve and sending his fist towards the ground.

Yammy started howling, clutching his forearm. Kaname gave him a look of disgust and contempt. "That was pathetic."

Kari started yelling, "OOOOO, FOREARM SMASH! AND RIGHT ON THE NERVE! …that's gotta hurt!" She started laughing her silly.

Yoruichi started laughing her head off too but winced as she felt her wounds burn.

Ulquiorra broke off his surprise and said to Yammy, "Come on, we have what we want."

Ulquiorra continued talking to the rest of them. The Garganta opened and the two Arrancar step back into it.

Meanwhile, Kaname turned to Kari and said in a creepily soft voice, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Kari grinned widely. "Oh yeaaaaah!"

They vanished into thin air.

The Garganta disappeared. "That was a nice surprise." Yoruichi said, wincing slightly.

"Yes, it was…AND KANAME, WHY'D YOU KICK ME?" Urahara whined.

The wind whistled in response. Urahara started whipping his head around, looking for the two women but came to rest his eyes upon Yoruichi's face.

Her eyes were closed, her brow furrowed as she said, "Uh oh…" as if it were nothing new. She sighed. "Those girls are the Soul Society's and Aizen's true enemies…"

"It was dark…very dark. The only source of light was a bright light at the end of the tunnel, almost blinding…with a long, green-ish white path leading towards it."

"Ooooo! OOOOOO!" Scary ghost noises came from the background.

Soon enough, there was howling. One from a jaguar and one from a wolf pup.

"WHERE ARE WE?" Kari and her wolf pup howled together.

"I don't wanna die!" Kaname screamed.

"I'm stepping off the path!" Kari yelled.

**Step**

**Fall**

**Grab**

Kaname was left holding Kari's shihakushô with only a few fingers. Kaname shook her head. "You're an idiot."

"I know." Kari grinned.

Kaname pulled Kari up and they both plopped down on the path. They both scrutinized the white light.

"Maybe Gin got his teeth whitened." Kaname suggested, shuddering.

"No, it has to be Aizen's body wax!" Kari screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! HORRIBLE IMAGE!" Kaname screamed, trying to block the image.

"Remember when we accidentally walked into his room and he was changing? SCARY!" Kari yelled.

Kaname gave her an anguished look. "I know! IT'S BURNED INTO MY MIND!"

It was quiet…only the sounds of the pets playing were heard.

The Arrancar heard the yelling. Very clearly…and were clearly disturbed…especially when they started talking about Aizen's waxed body.

O_O

Once they were quiet, Yammy said loudly, "WHAT THE HELL?"

Ulquiorra only raised an eyebrow, thinking the same question.

Yammy started yelling out, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?"

A soft voice replied, "We're in your head…we're your conscious."

Another voice cried, "AS LONG AS I DON'T GET YAMMY, I'M FINE! I don't mind Ulquiorra though…actually…wait! NOES! He might like yaoi or something! NOOOOOOES!"

The voices stopped. Ulquiorra simply walked into the light, eyebrow twitching from the yaoi comment. Yammy, still unsure, followed him, teasing, "So that's why you're so loyal to Aizen…ha, ha, Ulquiorrrrrrrra!"

When they left, Kaname let out a squeal. "OH MY GOSH, NO WAY! EWWWWWW!"

After she controlled herself, she turned to Kari. "Do you want to go into the light?"

Kari shrugged. "As long as I don't die."

Kaname grinned. "We're already dead."

Kari grinned too. "Okay. But if I end up as a baby, you're changing my diapers!" The pets sneezed and grinned.

Kaname grinned. "Wanna race?"

Kari grinned back. "Of course!"

And they sprinted into the light…


	13. Chapter 12 Caramelldancing Duct Tape

Chapter 12 – Caramelldansing Duct Tape

Ulquiorra crushed his eye and the re-cap of his time in the human world from minutes began. When he finished, there was much murmuring from the huge group…but above all, cursing came from a blue-haired kitty.

The room went quiet and they thought they heard snickering. Ignoring it, Aizen looked at Grimmjow in question. "Do you know these girls, my dear Espada #6?"

Before Grimmjow could answer, Ulquiorra finally remembered where he had seen the women before and said in his monotone voice, "He went to a carnival with them."

Nnoitra snickered mockingly. "Oooh, really?"

Grimmjow flushed angrily. "Yeah, but dammit! They lied to me! I didn't know they were f**rosting** Shinigami! Wait, what?" Grimmjow whipped his around but he couldn't see anyone.

Everyone was looking at him strangely. Then he heard a devilishly familiar voice whisper, "Hey Grimmy-kitty! There are children present!"

"EEEEP!"

**Jump**

**Stick**

Kari and Kaname were laughing their heads off at the sight of Grimmjow sticking to the ceiling…like a cat. He looked confused as to how he was sticking to the ceiling…and saw his nails stuck…

"Um…help?"

Nnoitra and Gin almost passed out laughing. Aizen allowed himself an amused smile while the rest of the Arrancar stared up at Gimmjow with disbelief.

Ulquiorra muttered, "Trash."

Kaname wiped tears from her eyes and yelled, "GRIMMY-KITTY-CHAN, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SWEAR WHEN THERE ARE KIDS AROUND!" She pointed to Starrk.

Starrk looked confused. "Me?"

"NO! BEHIND YOU!" Kaname yelled. She was now pointing her finger at Lilynette Gingerback. Lilynette scowled. "I'M NOT A KID! I'M THE SAME AGE AS STARRK!"

Kaname simply shook her head. "Well, you look like a kid. Better be safe than sorry." She giggled.

"GRIMMY! Don't you know that kitties are afraid of heights?" Kari winked.

Grimmjow turned green as he remembered the night of the roller coaster. Aizen was watching them all carefully. He was intrigued. But then he lost sight of Kaname.

Meanwhile, Grimmjow sonidoed to the ground. He turned to Kari and asked her, "What the h**ula hoop** are you doing here?" He aimed a glare in Kaname's direction but didn't see her anywhere.

Kari smiled at him. "It's okay Grimmy, you can put your claws away. I never lied to you! You just never asked me if I was a shinigami…geez. Besides, you should have figured it out! Would a normal human throw her shoe at your head?"

Nnoitra guffawed. "She threw a shoe at your HEAD?"

"Hence, these…" Kari said, pointing to her two-inch heels. She grinned. "Hey, I think there's still a mark on your face! Wow, look at that!" Kari pointed at the back of his head.

Grimmjow slapped her hand away, annoyed. "YOU NEVER HIT ME THAT HARD! WHY WOULD IT LEAVE A MARK?"

Kari started yelling back, "FINE! IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE THAT AWAY, I'M GOING TO STAND ON TOP OF NNOITRA'S CRESCENT SWORD!"

Grimmjow glared at her. "Fine…wait, what? WHAT THE HELL?"

Kari flash-stepped to Nnoitra's sword as Nnoitra laughed, "Oh look, a lover's spat…wait, a—HEY!"

Nnoitra yelled after getting hit with Kari's boot that "slipped" off her foot.

She stepped back on the sword slightly in a way so that the sword wouldn't cut her and dropped her other boot on his face as he tried to protest.

Suddenly, Aizen felt a shadow fall across his face as a voice yelled out, "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Kari pressed a button on her Ipod. The Arrancar just noticed all the speakers around them as music started to blare…

And Kaname and Kari were dancing to the Caramelldansen. Kaname was dancing on Aizen's chair while Kari was dancing on Nnoitra's sword.

Out of the corner of their eyes, they saw Lilynette and Gin, of all people, join them.

Considering Kaname was in her gigai, wearing her skirt, she stepped on Aizen's face the second he tried to look up, yelling, "PERVERT!"

D:

All the Arrancar were speechless as the two women danced. Starrk was still sleeping, Ulquiorra was muttering about trash and Grimmjow was rolling his eyes.

Aizen tried to look at Kaname again and she stomped on his face, screaming.

As the song came to an end, they both jumped off their stages and yelled, "EPIC HIGH-FIVE!"

The only one that reacted fast enough was Gin, who hid behind Aizen's chair. Aizen was still holding his stomped-on face with his super-gelled-back-hair.

As the women's hands touched, their pets scampered behind Grimmjow. The force of the explosion threw everyone back, including Aizen, who smashed his head on his chair.

The women laughed, grabbed their pets and yelled, "GOOD BYE!"

Aizen recovered enough to say, "Kill them all…except for the tall one. I'll deal with her personally."

D:

Kaname started screaming. She and Kari exchanged a single look and each grabbed one of Grimmjow's arms. They flash-stepped away, leaving not even a fur ball behind.

On top of Las Noches, Grimmjow was duct-taped all over. He was completely restrained. Kaname and Kari were speaking in urgent tones, when Grimmjow started trying to swear through the tape.

Kari ripped the duct-tape off and Grimmjow swore even more. Kaname didn't even try to cover it up.

Kari waited until he was done. He finally asked, "What the hell do you want with me?"

Kari answered, "Send us home!"

Grimmjow looked at them amazed. "What?"

Kaname gave him a look. "She said, send us home!"

Grimmjow looked at them again. "WHY?"

Kaname sniffled. "I know you love us and all but Aizen creeps me out and I don't need any more stalkers and I wanna go prank more people and I'm bored so send us home!"

Kari reminded her, "And we need to re-live our history, you know."

Kaname nodded. "Yeah, that too."

Grimmjow just stared at them. "And why would you think that I'd take you back? Maybe I want you to stay here."

Kari looked at him seductively. "Booma-chicka wainw wainw."

Kaname sniffled. "Then keep Kari as your sex-slave and let me go HOME!"

Kari blushed and hit Kaname. "NOOOOOOOOE! Say that again and I'll shove my foot up your butt!"

Grimmjow looked at them with an amused and cocky smile. "Come on, convince me. Why should I?"

Kaname offered, "We'll untie you?"

Grimmjow shook his head. "No, that's not good enough…"

Kari thought. "We'll get you a little mouse you can chase around…"

"Or a ball of yarn!" Kaname added.

"WHAT THE F*** DO YOU THINK I AM? I'M NOT A CAT! I DON'T NEED YARN OR A MOUSE!"

"Could have fooled me…" Kari muttered.

"HOW ABOUT WE TAKE YOU TO ANOTHER CARNIVAL?" Kaname suggested.

"HELL NO!" Grimmjow screamed.

Kari sighed. "How about we leave you alone for a week?"

Grimmjow didn't answer at that.

Kaname sighed too. "And we'll bring you candy…"

Grimmjow grinned. "Deal…NOW LET ME OUT OF THIS STUFF!"

Grimmjow opened the Garganta and stepped back. The women were playing with the leftover duct tape. Grimmjow stared at them.

"Hey, don't diss the duct tape! It's AWESOME!" Kari yelled.

"And after all…silence is golden, but duct tape is silver!" Kaname added. She taped Kari's mouth closed.

Kari glared at her and ripped it off, her mouth open ready to scream. She then curled up into a ball, screaming and crying. "THAT HURT!"

Kaname grinned…and as fast as it came, her grin fell. She bolted off the roof of Las Noches and into the portal.

Aizen stepped out of the shadows and said, "You owe me some of that candy for stepping on my face."

Kari blinked, taped his mouth and said, "Shhh! You don't know that!"

She grinned, kissed Grimmjow's cheek and disappeared into the portal. As it closed, they heard a girlish shriek of pain and a very loud "WHAT THE HELL?"


	14. Chapter 13 The Poutines From the Soul So

Chapter 13- The Poutines From the Soul Society

"I've always wondered how we ever got to the soul society." Kari said as they stood on top Mont. Royal in Quebec Canada.

Kaname looked at the city that was NOT there 3000 years ago.

"and why's that?" she asked her best friend.

"Because all we see are people from Japan," she said. Kaname put a finger on her chin.

"That's kinda true!" she said as they looked on at the city below them.

"Arrêt! Descendez maintenant!" security said as they ran toward them.

The girls step down from the ledge and back onto the ground, and without hesitation the girls ran down the mountain and hid in the trees. Security past by minutes later, trying to find out where they went.

" So how are we going to find out were the door is to get into the school?" Kaname asked as they started back down the mountain.

"How do we even know if it is still around?" Kari asked she looked at the pups tackling each other and playing around. Kari and Kaname sighed and leaned up against a near by tree.

"Should we give up?" Kaname said as she swung from a branch. Kari shook her head.

"If we did that I'm sure Seth or Alice would get angry at us." She said. Kaname nodded in agreement.

All of a sudden, a howl and a purr got their attention. Kaname and Kari looked at their pets in question.

"What's up?" Kaname asked them, but all they did was run off.

Kari and Kaname shrugged and followed them deeper into the forest.

They soon came to a large willow tree with a temple carved into it. A smile formed on their lips.

Kaname and Kari took a deep breath before picking up their pets and walking past the tree and threw a force field.

As they past threw the force field, their appearances started to change slightly.

Kaname's red hair was loose and wavy. She was wearing a turquoise scarf wrapped around her chest as a makeshift shirt. She has ultra-short black shorts with another light green scarf wrapped around her waist, making a skirt.

Kari's loose black hair was tied up in a high ponytail and she was now bare feet in just old worn brown leather shorts and the white bandages that covered her chest.

They were not the least surprised and kept walking down a stone path. They looked around the path and found how the appearance in the path reminded them of Japan.

The cherry blossoms bloomed beautifully. They soon came to an old Japanese-styled house. Kaname looked at Kari and she nodded. As the wind gently blew, they disappeared.

The women stepped out of the shade of a huge, gnarled oak tree. Without a sound, they moved with the wind and blended into the shadows, crossing through the forest.

Soon, they came upon an opening. At the far end of the opening, there was a natural tunnel, lined with trees and huge rocks. Kari looked up. The sun was bright…there were no shadows to use.

Kaname looked at her. She smiled and mouthed "A challenge"

Kari grinned back. They both closed their eyes and let their instincts take control. They faded away.

A few moments later, both women were at the mouth of the natural tunnel. Following the tunnel, they walked in the cool darkness. A roaring sound grew louder as they approached the bright opening. The women slowly walked into the light and onto a ledge, overlooking a massive canyon.

Kaname walked towards a rope stretching from one ledge to another. Kari followed her. Their pets stayed behind on the ledge, mewing softly. The women stepped on the tightrope, balancing themselves before stopping in the middle, nothing but air around them.

Kaname smiled at Kari as she almost lost her balance. "Out of practice huh?"

Kari laughed. "Oh yeah? Who showed you this place first?" She swayed a bit. "Okay…maybe you're a bit right."

Kaname grinned. "I remember you having excellent balance when we used to spar together here."

Kari smiled evilly. "That's before Seth gave us crap about coming on this rope! He kept worrying we'd die or fall off."

Kaname laughed, closing her eyes. "Boy…he was right in the end."

Kari laughed. "Yup…" And with that, she pushed Kaname.

Kaname smiled, her eyes still closed. Instead of fighting Kari's energy, she went with it…but she pulled Kari down with her.

Their pets started howling as they saw their masters fall…but then they heard Kari and Kaname's laughing and screams of "THE WATER'S FREEZING!"

The pets ran to the edge and saw their masters at the bottom of a waterfall, swimming in a small lake. They were having a splashing contest until Kari almost smashed her head against a rock. Kaname started laughing…and then Kari almost drowned her by pushing her under.

The women finally looked up and saw their pets, 500 meters high. They both laughed and swam to some huge rocks in the lake. They pulled themselves onto the rocks and soaked up the sun.


End file.
